Still pushing me forward and working my ass off....
Friday, February 24, 2012
Blasting in my ears right now...
Again, loving me some blasts from the past to push me forward to where I want to be...and a reminder that I better work it!
Still pushing me forward and working my ass off....
Still pushing me forward and working my ass off....
Thursday, February 23, 2012
In lieu of a Thursday Review....
I thought I'd share with you a little (well actually a BIG) something...
Today I had to go to the store to get something fixed.
I had purchased The Wonder One a new pair of 501's and when he was taking them out of the bag I noted that at the bottom, near the hem, they hadn't removed the store security sensor. Bastids. Which meant I had to go all the way back to the mall to have them remove the blasted thing. This would be the second time today I'd been there. While taking care of The Wonder One is a chore I don't mind doing, it was a pain in the butt because gas prices had shot up this morning $0.30 a gallon! This had happened in just one day! Thirty cents! Which by and large isn't normally a big deal, but when we're talking over the course of a year, thirty cents truly isn't a big deal. When we're talking over night? It's a big deal.
So I get back to Macy's to have the sale's clerk remove the sensor from the jeans and to make sure that the store maintenance crew took care to fix the security system so that bigger, higher priced items weren't walking out the door and we the honest customers weren't footing the bill for it. To thank me for my patience the store management refunded me some money back to my account. I thanked the young man who helped me and was on my way out the door to walk around a bit before leaving.
Off to Lane Bryant I went. I thought I would look to see about a new pair of jeans that actually fit seeing as how pretty much all of my other jeans were now a size or so too big. Since I'd started this journey I've not really known what size I wore. If I ever really knew to begin with. When I last bought a pair of jeans at my largest I bought a size 28. Those jeans now when I wear them, I can barely keep them on. So it was with the intention of going in and getting a pair of 26's. Figuring I'd gone down a size.
So I grabbed the size I needed and headed to the fitting room. I put them on and stepped out to look in the big mirror. *click* ..........."grrrrr" I thought to myself as I realized I locked myself out of my dressing room.
I turned to a sales associate to be let back into my dressing room and she asked "Honey, do you need another size?"
"I dunno, why?" I replied. She gave me that look that said "you don't get out much do you?" She then told me that I was wearing a pair of jeans that was at least a size if not two sizes to big. All I could do was look at her dumbfounded! Was she kidding me? I mean seriously?!
Off she went in search of the wash and size I needed and in came a different sales associate with an even smaller size! So I ended up going from what I thought was one size down another two more sizes! When I was handed a size 24 to put on I started to cry. I mean weep full on, tears just streaming down my face. I'd not been in a 24 in.......I don't rightly know how long! The second sales associate (the first one having long since disappeared) confused dashed off to get me tissues, not quite understanding why I was so emotional. She thought I was crying because I was in a size that was to large, not knowing that I was in a size that I'd not been in, in nearly 20 years. **Update ~~ I came back to update because I was rereading this post and something didn't look right. I went upstairs to grab the jeans I bought to verify the size I bought. The size I bought were in fact a size........are you sitting down? Hold onto your hats....a size 22!!! That was the last size I was before I was pregnant! That was 27 years ago....yeah, longer than some of you are old. Quit laughing. lol Okay, you can laugh, but only for a minute.....now you can stop.....Wow, so this is even bigger than I realized...
When in fact it was only just a year ago that I'd had a very nearly similar type of meltdown (in the same dressing room ironically) but for the opposite reason because I couldn't fit into anything because I was at my largest ever. Weighing very nearly the most I'd weighed in my life at 286 pounds. Feeling very bloated and looking the same, not being able to do much nor was I able to verbalize my frustration, I just did what I always did.
I ate. I took it out on myself, I internalized it and I ate.
Thankfully since then I've learned a lot about how to handle my emotions and about how not to internalize them. I'm still having trouble getting the weight off. It's not coming off as fast as one would want it to, but that's okay, at least it's not coming back ON. All I can do is all I can do. Each day is a lesson to learn from and to move forward from. That's how I'm going to keep it off. So I'm doing the best thing for me that I can which is being here with you cheerleaders and you're being here with me to cheer me on has been awesome.
I thank you for that.
Now we celebrate!
Today I had to go to the store to get something fixed.
I had purchased The Wonder One a new pair of 501's and when he was taking them out of the bag I noted that at the bottom, near the hem, they hadn't removed the store security sensor. Bastids. Which meant I had to go all the way back to the mall to have them remove the blasted thing. This would be the second time today I'd been there. While taking care of The Wonder One is a chore I don't mind doing, it was a pain in the butt because gas prices had shot up this morning $0.30 a gallon! This had happened in just one day! Thirty cents! Which by and large isn't normally a big deal, but when we're talking over the course of a year, thirty cents truly isn't a big deal. When we're talking over night? It's a big deal.
So I get back to Macy's to have the sale's clerk remove the sensor from the jeans and to make sure that the store maintenance crew took care to fix the security system so that bigger, higher priced items weren't walking out the door and we the honest customers weren't footing the bill for it. To thank me for my patience the store management refunded me some money back to my account. I thanked the young man who helped me and was on my way out the door to walk around a bit before leaving.
Off to Lane Bryant I went. I thought I would look to see about a new pair of jeans that actually fit seeing as how pretty much all of my other jeans were now a size or so too big. Since I'd started this journey I've not really known what size I wore. If I ever really knew to begin with. When I last bought a pair of jeans at my largest I bought a size 28. Those jeans now when I wear them, I can barely keep them on. So it was with the intention of going in and getting a pair of 26's. Figuring I'd gone down a size.
So I grabbed the size I needed and headed to the fitting room. I put them on and stepped out to look in the big mirror. *click* ..........."grrrrr" I thought to myself as I realized I locked myself out of my dressing room.
I turned to a sales associate to be let back into my dressing room and she asked "Honey, do you need another size?"
"I dunno, why?" I replied. She gave me that look that said "you don't get out much do you?" She then told me that I was wearing a pair of jeans that was at least a size if not two sizes to big. All I could do was look at her dumbfounded! Was she kidding me? I mean seriously?!
Off she went in search of the wash and size I needed and in came a different sales associate with an even smaller size! So I ended up going from what I thought was one size down another two more sizes! When I was handed a size 24 to put on I started to cry. I mean weep full on, tears just streaming down my face. I'd not been in a 24 in.......I don't rightly know how long! The second sales associate (the first one having long since disappeared) confused dashed off to get me tissues, not quite understanding why I was so emotional. She thought I was crying because I was in a size that was to large, not knowing that I was in a size that I'd not been in, in nearly 20 years. **Update ~~ I came back to update because I was rereading this post and something didn't look right. I went upstairs to grab the jeans I bought to verify the size I bought. The size I bought were in fact a size........are you sitting down? Hold onto your hats....a size 22!!! That was the last size I was before I was pregnant! That was 27 years ago....yeah, longer than some of you are old. Quit laughing. lol Okay, you can laugh, but only for a minute.....now you can stop.....Wow, so this is even bigger than I realized...
When in fact it was only just a year ago that I'd had a very nearly similar type of meltdown (in the same dressing room ironically) but for the opposite reason because I couldn't fit into anything because I was at my largest ever. Weighing very nearly the most I'd weighed in my life at 286 pounds. Feeling very bloated and looking the same, not being able to do much nor was I able to verbalize my frustration, I just did what I always did.
I ate. I took it out on myself, I internalized it and I ate.
Thankfully since then I've learned a lot about how to handle my emotions and about how not to internalize them. I'm still having trouble getting the weight off. It's not coming off as fast as one would want it to, but that's okay, at least it's not coming back ON. All I can do is all I can do. Each day is a lesson to learn from and to move forward from. That's how I'm going to keep it off. So I'm doing the best thing for me that I can which is being here with you cheerleaders and you're being here with me to cheer me on has been awesome.
I thank you for that.
Now we celebrate!
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
It's Wednesday...
Well yesterday was Fat Tuesday...
Is there any coincidence that I gained weight this week? lol
Thankfully it was only a singular pound (but still a pound no less) ......boo to the pound!
Even though I'm not Catholic and don't really follow the teachings of Lent it was brought to my attention by a wise man in a conversation yesterday this philosophy [sic]
I guess I look at dieting in much the same way. All the diets say the same thing. If you don't eat this particular diet you won't lose weight, but in the end, if you use common sense, put your fork down, move a little more...
Have a little faith (in yourself and the above)....it'll all work out in the end.
It has to.
Right?
Also....The Wonder One and I while never before having given anything up for lent before (really, I mean I had as a child but when I found out that it was a "Catholic thing" I thought it was disrespectful on my part to do so since I wasn't, so I stopped. But since the wise man pointed out what the point of Lent was for Christians in general, I thought to myself "Self...this is something you could and should do" So The Wonder One and I talked about it and we're giving up ......... <insert drum roll> pastries! That should be painful enough. I mean Lent is about suffering right? lol Not to mention it'll help with points counting (there won't be any!) and weight loss (should be loads!)....so we'll see....
*I've not gotten permission to use the participants names from the conversation, that's why it's been bleeped out. It was a fun and interesting conversation btw.
Is there any coincidence that I gained weight this week? lol
Thankfully it was only a singular pound (but still a pound no less) ......boo to the pound!
Even though I'm not Catholic and don't really follow the teachings of Lent it was brought to my attention by a wise man in a conversation yesterday this philosophy [sic]
I had to say....that made sense. Even though I consider myself a Christian, I don't lean towards any one particular religion. I'm of the opinion that organized religion (now this is to me of course) doesn't make sense because each religion you come across says "obey this religion or else". How can this be? How can it be that you only follow one religion or else? Why not believe in God and it works out? *sighs* Well I have faith and I listen to my heart and pray that it does and hope in the end."Lent is for the sufference of Christ and all Christians should follow lent and not just the Catholics although they are the most faithful for the suffering of Christ... [****] I'm giving up red meat,pork and most sweets ( I gotta have my chewing gum)... Oh yeah and hard liquor..."
I guess I look at dieting in much the same way. All the diets say the same thing. If you don't eat this particular diet you won't lose weight, but in the end, if you use common sense, put your fork down, move a little more...
Have a little faith (in yourself and the above)....it'll all work out in the end.
It has to.
Right?
Also....The Wonder One and I while never before having given anything up for lent before (really, I mean I had as a child but when I found out that it was a "Catholic thing" I thought it was disrespectful on my part to do so since I wasn't, so I stopped. But since the wise man pointed out what the point of Lent was for Christians in general, I thought to myself "Self...this is something you could and should do" So The Wonder One and I talked about it and we're giving up ......... <insert drum roll> pastries! That should be painful enough. I mean Lent is about suffering right? lol Not to mention it'll help with points counting (there won't be any!) and weight loss (should be loads!)....so we'll see....
*I've not gotten permission to use the participants names from the conversation, that's why it's been bleeped out. It was a fun and interesting conversation btw.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Back in the pool...
So today was lesson number two...
Very exciting indeed!
The swim instructor is so cute, very encouraging and forthcoming with advice and very sympathetic to my situation with regards to my shoulder (or lack there of a shoulder)...I'd explained how I wanted to learn more swimming skills so that I could utilize them to rehab my shoulders and regain some range of motion in them. She having had some shoulder issues herself understood and really worked to show me strokes that would benefit me while not causing me undue stress to the area.
So this week I ended up swimming 100 yards (25 more than last week!) and learned 2 more strokes in addition to reviewing my breaststroke from last week!
So all told so far I've learned and/or done:
- Breaststroke with whip kick
- Backstroke
- Sidestroke
- Scissorkick
- Improved by 25 yards
So a few things I noticed while at the pool. Off to the side is a "baby" pool that is used to teach babies and toddlers how to swim. There is a young man who brings his baby (maybe she's 12-14 months old, just learning to walk) and it was so cute watching him. He had her hooded towel on her head (a character one of a duck) and her pacifier in HIS mouth and she was griping his fingers and he was walking her off to get dried off. Too cute! One of those things that make you go "Awwww" and think "How sweet." Then there was another participant (most everyone else being a woman) and I have to point out here that everyone else in the class is dressed appropriately in their swimsuits (read that to be 1 piece's), yet I have to wonder how many mom's really go to their child's swim class in a bikini? I dunno, color me a wee bit jealous that I can't wear one? Or seriously, in a class of 20 mom's is there always going to be the one that will dress like this to stand out? At least she had the body for it. Oh and before anyone asks and if you've made the connection....yes the guy with the little girl....he was there alone and yes he was good looking. So is there a correlation between the bikini wearing mom and the good looking dad? Who knows? I'll keep an eye out and let you know if I notice anything develop, lol.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Friday, February 17, 2012
Blasting in my ears right now...
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