The funniest thing...

The funniest thing being that it was ironic, not that it was ha ha funny, was that I went to pay a visit to a friend's blog.  I hadn't been there for a while and I was struck by how raw a post she had done was.  We had pretty similar back grounds.

I was leaving a comment for her and for her right now she's dealing more with recovery, recovery of her own and her parent's recovery (even though they are deceased....there's a certain amount of recovery a child goes through when dealing with abuse and bringing together the child inside with the adult that now is)  it's a difficult concept to explain unless you've lived it.

So as I was leaving my comment I realized that I too am in recovery of sorts.  I've stated on the rare occasion that I am a recovering alcoholic.  While a true recovering alcoholic who has hit rock bottom would say "nope, you're not"....others who have been in my situation would say I am.  When I can talk more about this particular subject, I will.  Trust me.  You'll know it.

As for this particular recovery that I am in....I am in recovery right now.  The reason I say that is because I'm learning how to live again, I'm having to learn how to eat properly, I'm having to learn how to deal with my emotions because let's face it.  There is still the odd occasion where I don't know how to deal with my emotions so I will turn to my two best friends.....you know the guys....Ben?  Jerry?  So I feel like that leaves me in a recovery state.  I've taken off a lot of weight.  I still have a lot to go.  I do not want to go back to where I was.  Ever.

But then you pick yourself up, you collect yourself and you look to see where you need to go to move forward to walk away from where you were to be away from it. Right now you have to realize it's okay to not necessarily know where you're going, just to know that you're not going back to where you were. Be resolute in that knowledge. That. Is the most important thing.

That.  Is the most important thing.