In lieu of a Thursday Review....

I thought I'd share with you a little (well actually a BIG) something...

Today I had to go to the store to get something fixed.

I had purchased The Wonder One a new pair of 501's and when he was taking them out of the bag I noted that at the bottom, near the hem, they hadn't removed the store security sensor.  Bastids.  Which meant I had to go all the way back to the mall to have them remove the blasted thing.  This would be the second time today I'd been there.  While taking care of The Wonder One is a chore I don't mind doing, it was a pain in the butt because gas prices had shot up this morning $0.30 a gallon!  This had happened in just one day!  Thirty cents!  Which by and large isn't normally a big deal, but when we're talking over the course of a year, thirty cents truly isn't a big deal.  When we're talking over night?  It's a big deal.

So I get back to Macy's to have the sale's clerk remove the sensor from the jeans and to make sure that the store maintenance crew took care to fix the security system so that bigger, higher priced items weren't walking out the door and we the honest customers weren't footing the bill for it.  To thank me for my patience the store management refunded me some money back to my account. I thanked the young man who helped me and was on my way out the door to walk around a bit before leaving.

Off to Lane Bryant I went.  I thought I would look to see about a new pair of jeans that actually fit seeing as how pretty much all of my other jeans were now a size or so too big.  Since I'd started this journey I've not really known what size I wore.  If I ever really knew to begin with.  When I last bought a pair of jeans at my largest I bought a size 28.  Those jeans now when I wear them, I can barely keep them on.  So it was with the intention of going in and getting a pair of 26's.  Figuring I'd gone down a size.

So I grabbed the size I needed and headed to the fitting room. I put them on and stepped out to look in the big mirror.  *click* ..........."grrrrr" I thought to myself as I realized I locked myself out of my dressing room.

I turned to a sales associate to be let back into my dressing room and she asked "Honey, do you need another size?"

"I dunno, why?" I replied.  She gave me that look that said "you don't get out much do you?" She then told me that I was wearing a pair of jeans that was at least a size if not two sizes to big.  All I could do was look at her dumbfounded!  Was she kidding me?  I mean seriously?!

Off she went in search of the wash and size I needed and in came a different sales associate with an even smaller size!  So I ended up going from what I thought was one size down another two more sizes!  When I was handed a size 24 to put on I started to cry.  I mean weep full on, tears just streaming down my face.  I'd not been in a 24 in.......I don't rightly know how long!  The second sales associate (the first one having long since disappeared) confused dashed off to get me tissues, not quite understanding why I was so emotional.  She thought I was crying because I was in a size that was to large, not knowing that I was in a size that I'd not been in, in nearly 20 years.  **Update ~~ I came back to update because I was rereading this post and something didn't look right.  I went upstairs to grab the jeans I bought to verify the size I bought.  The size I bought were in fact a size........are you sitting down?  Hold onto your hats....a size 22!!!  That was the last size I was before I was pregnant!  That was 27 years ago....yeah, longer than some of you are old.  Quit laughing. lol  Okay, you can laugh, but only for a minute.....now you can stop.....Wow, so this is even bigger than I realized...

When in fact it was only just a year ago that I'd had a very nearly similar type of meltdown (in the same dressing room ironically) but for the opposite reason because I couldn't fit into anything because I was at my largest ever.  Weighing very nearly the most I'd weighed in my life at 286 pounds.  Feeling very bloated and looking the same, not being able to do much nor was I able to verbalize my frustration, I just did what I always did.

I ate.  I took it out on myself, I internalized it and I ate.

Thankfully since then I've learned a lot about how to handle my emotions and about how not to internalize them.  I'm still having trouble getting the weight off.  It's not coming off as fast as one would want it to, but that's okay, at least it's not coming back ON.  All I can do is all I can do.  Each day is a lesson to learn from and to move forward from.  That's how I'm going to keep it off.  So I'm doing the best thing for me that I can which is being here with you cheerleaders and you're being here with me to cheer me on has been awesome.

I thank you for that.

Now we celebrate!

Back in the pool...

So today was lesson number two...

Very exciting indeed!

The swim instructor is so cute, very encouraging and forthcoming with advice and very sympathetic to my situation with regards to my shoulder (or lack there of a shoulder)...I'd explained how I wanted to learn more swimming skills so that I could utilize them to rehab my shoulders and regain some range of motion in them.  She having had some shoulder issues herself understood and really worked to show me strokes that would benefit me while not causing me undue stress to the area.

So this week I ended up swimming 100 yards (25 more than last week!) and learned 2 more strokes in addition to reviewing my breaststroke from last week!

So all told so far I've learned and/or done:

• Breaststroke with whip kick
• Backstroke
• Sidestroke
• Scissorkick
• Improved by 25 yards

YaY  me!

So a few things I noticed while at the pool.  Off to the side is a "baby" pool that is used to teach babies and toddlers how to swim.  There is a young man who brings his baby (maybe she's 12-14 months old, just learning to walk) and it was so cute watching him.  He had her hooded towel on her head (a character one of a duck) and her pacifier in HIS mouth and she was griping his fingers and he was walking her off to get dried off.  Too cute!  One of those things that make you go "Awwww" and think "How sweet."  Then there was another participant (most everyone else being a woman) and I have to point out here that everyone else in the class is dressed appropriately in their swimsuits (read that to be 1 piece's), yet I have to wonder how many mom's really go to their child's swim class in a bikini?  I dunno, color me a wee bit jealous that I can't wear one? Or seriously, in a class of 20 mom's is there always going to be the one that will dress like this to stand out?  At least she had the body for it.  Oh and before anyone asks and if you've made the connection....yes the guy with the little girl....he was there alone and yes he was good looking.  So is there a correlation between the bikini wearing mom and the good looking dad?  Who knows?  I'll keep an eye out and let you know if I notice anything develop, lol.

We've got progress!!! Yesssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, so the numbers haven't changed. BUT! What we do have is a change in how the clothes are fitting.

Last night when getting dressed for work I wore jeans which I've not done for probably a month, month and a half at LEAST because it's been so flippin' hot this summer.  I've been wearing shorts and the like and not bothering to get anywhere near jeans.  So last night I got into my jeans that I bought this spring.  Now keep in mind when I bought these jeans, they fit.  They weren't snug or tight or anything.  They fit perfectly.  The way a pair good pair of jeans should fit.  I was happy with them. 

When I put them on I looked down and thought to myself "hmmm, these seem a bit roomy" and really didn't think much more beyond that.

Then I get to work and start to move around in them and realize just how roomy they are.....!!!!

I yelp for the might midget "You've gotta see this!!"  Needless to say, she was impressed too!  I think we both could've gotten into my jeans, lol.  Over these past few months I've been told that people can see the changes even when I can't.  The wonder one says he can see it.  I can't.  When I got home this morning from work, I asked him to cut me out of my makeshift belt.  He looked at me quizzically.  I lifted my shirt to reveal a trick he taught me.  I had taken a clean trash bag and woven it into my belt loops and tied it so that it pulled everything together to keep my jeans up so that they would stop falling down. 

My only other option was to take the belt loops and pull them up over my ears and wear them like a new pair of earrings!

So yesterday...

At the gym, I kicked my ass...

Here's why.

I'm still working on getting to the point where I can run.  Where I can run, do it well and do it fast.  Because my goal is (still) to race the wonder one and to beat him.  Now I am not delusional.  Just to let those of you who don't know.  The wonder one has been a runner for more than half his life, for about thirty years to be exact.  He's a damn fine one too.  He'll tell you he's not that good.  His glory days are behind him.  Don't listen to him, he doesn't know what he's talking about.  He's just not put the time or effort into it.  Until lately and only lately because he's actually not just running.  He's running, biking and swimming.  I think he's got a bit of a short attention span and that's why he's doing so much better now.  Who knows.  But.  He's an amazing runner.  How do I know this you may ask?  Because anyone who can go out and run a half marathon (that's 13.1 miles for the uneducated) on NO training.  I have to stress that no training part.  We're talking absolutely no training. When I say no training, I mean no training.  The average runner training for a 5k race (3.1 miles) will on average run around about 10 miles a week to train for that race and eat a balanced diet.  So if you take the rationale out to a race that is 4 times in length approximately, there is going to be speed workouts, distance runs, the balanced diet while carbo loading building up the race day.  The mileage picking up as you go along to the point to where on average, the average runner will have approximately 40 to 60 miles a week put in the bank in quality running.  We're talking average runners here, not even taking into consideration Elite runners or Olympians.  Now you're going to see where the wonder one gets his name....

Going into a huge portion of most of his 1/2 marathons, the wonder one would have a crap fast food diet under his belt and MAYBE 10 - 15 miles a week on his shoes.  If he had a long distance run in the training mix it was maybe a 10k (6.2 miles) race or a 10 mile race a week or two before hand.  That's about it.

This is how I know the wonder one is a great runner.  Because if he put the effort into it, he could be an Elite.  Would be an Olympian.  This is how I know I'll kick his ass.  I'm putting the effort in.  I won't win the first time out.  I'm not expecting to.  But one day I will.  Because he made one fatal mistake. 

"Men are faster than women" he said to me.  Oh yeah?  We'll just see about that.

Now by no means am I a feminist.  I'm not a man hater neither.  But do NOT make sweeping generalizations that just do not apply, because one day my friend, you will be regretting that.  He made this statement, probably more than 20 years ago.  Don't ask me why it's stuck with me all this time.  Quite honestly, it may be because I need a goal to work towards, it's just who I am.  If that's what it takes, then that's what it takes.  I actually kind of like the idea of being competitive against him.  Even someone as seasoned a competitor as him.  Be it fearless or stupidity, well, we'll just have to see how that plays out.  At least for now, it's got me working towards a goal and keeping me going.

My longest time yet at my fastest pace yet. 19 minutes at 3.3 mph.  May not seem long or fast to you, but lets face it, getting me moving at that speed for that long....let's just say....I'M impressed!

When I finally do get to run against the wonder one...I don't want him to hold back neither, I want it to be a full out, no holds balls to the wall run.  He wins, it's okay. 

He won't always.

Color me surprised!

The Barbie One redeemed herself today. While at the gym working out yesterday on that one piece of equipment that I am undereducated for (remember, it takes a PhD to just MOUNT the thing let alone USE) the evil one recommended a different piece of equipment that quite honestly wasn't any better for my shoulder.  The evil one I swear is out to get me!

So today while the evil one was lurking in a dark corner of the gym somewhere plotting my demise; I grabbed Barbie and told her that the previous two machines were just about to do my head in (more accurately, my shoulder) was there ANY way she could help?

She actually pushed this big huge body builder off a machine (well, she did say "do you mind?" first lol) and showed me how to use it and it didn't require any upper body involvement at all!  Then to redeem herself even further, she showed me two more machines I could use!  I'm chuffed!  So now I can still work on my lower abs and not have to worry about my shoulder getting torn up in the process! 

Gotta love it when a plan comes together!

Oh Thank Sweet Jesus!!!

So as you may or may not have guessed Wednesdays are my weigh in days.  And by the title of this post you can probably guess that this week I was a loser, lol.

Thank. Sweet. Jesus!!!

I truly have come to the conclusion that it was the frozen dinners that I had become reliant upon to supplement my eating needs while the weather was so bleepin' hot and humid out, these past few weeks that had caused me to bloat up like a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon.  I would've been fearful had anyone gotten near me with any sharp objects!  However I can say with some delight the swelling in my feet has gone down tremendously, I once again have ankles and now have a better positive outlook on life!  Since having drawn this conclusion, I've figured out how to make dinner without heating up the kitchen (hellloooo Crock-Pot!) thus saving the house from getting anymore hot than it already is.

Yay me!

If you weren't keeping score, I lost 3.5 pounds this week.  It is difficult to say if it was water weight or just weight weight, but hey, at this point in the game, just so long as the number was going down and not up, I really don't care one way or the other at this point!

Yay me!

***Update...These conclusions should've been given proper credit to the my kinda sorta twin sister who I bemoaned my plight to over the phone this past weekend.  Without having done this, her helpful ear and insight would not these conclusions been reached.  I owe her a debt of gratitude and regret not having given her the kudos she deserved in the first place!  Thanks girl!

Climbing isn't as hard as it used to be...

After pouting for a better part of the day yesterday and going for my walk, I actually walked for the longest I had since I had tried half-heartedly attempted to lose weight before.  At 14 minutes, that was the longest time I'd walked in years barring any time spent at the mall.

So if you cast your mind back to earlier in the week when we first met the evil one, I found out that I actually had abdomen muscles!  As hard as it is for me to believe...stunned actually is the word I think I'm looking for, it really does get easier. 

I found today after having my half pound sulk session that sweating it out truly was what I needed to get my mind right.  I was no where near being happy about my gaining half a pound.  No one wants to see their efforts rewarded with a gain, so I spent 16 minutes today walking on the treadmill.  A new personal record (PR) and had my lower body workout.  As well, I climbed into the doohickey that worked out my abs from here to hell and back.  What got me all verklempt was that I was able to do my three sets of ten reps with no trouble and quickly.  I was rather emotional when I got down from the machine.  Excited that I was able to get the task at hand done, so now I need to look at how to challenge myself so that the next time it hurts just a wee bit. ;-)

That way I can continue to find my victories where ever they may be.