Wednesday, December 28, 2011

It's Wednesday...

Well in an effort to get things back on track...

I weighed in today and thankfully I can say that I lost weight, but given that it was weight gained over the course of a month of water weight gain, can I really take satisfaction in it?

Damn skippy I can!

Hey, it's weight that's not on me and I now know better to not let a month go with a constant weight gain without looking at it twice.  Especially given that I hadn't been eating like a lot of people do during the holidays.  I enjoyed myself, don't get me wrong, but I don't think had I been not acting like a sponge, I would've gained that much.  Look at Thanksgiving...I gained what? Two pounds?

So I'm not where I was when I started into sponge mode, that's okay, I'm just happy to have off the excess water weight.  Moving forward, we'll see how things go.

Especially since I decided to learn how to swim as a New Years' Resolution and I am working on my fitness plan.  So things are getting back to "normal" ~ whatever that is. 

For once, I'm looking forward to the new year.

How many times have any of us been able to say that?

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Merry Christmas Cheerleaders!

I know I've been seriously lacking in my duties in letting you know what's been going on in my weight loss efforts and for that I apologize.  Over the course of the past 3 weeks or so I've gained roughly 18 pounds, however it's all from water weight (thank GOD!!!),  As well, I've been having some more issues with my sugar levels bottoming out on me.  So between the two, I got into the doctor and he lowered my insulin yet again and then doubled up on my Lasix (which is a type of water pill, in plain English) so we'll know on Wednesday how things pan out.

I just wanted to check in with you and let you all know that I've not forgotten about you, but between the holidays, work and being ill, something had to give.  Unfortunately, it was the blog.  Things should return to normal (whatever the hell THAT is) come next week or so.

Take care of you and yours and give each other a big hug and just know that you're thought of fondly.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Thursday Review...

Again today I'm satisfying my sweet tooth.  It goes to chocolate and creaminess.  I am touching on another store brand.  I do apologize that it is a regional store brand and that I don't have access to try more store brands.  As from what I understand it's national brands that generate store brands for the regional stores and put the store labels on them for the stores.  I find that to be an interesting concept.

The one thing about this particular store that we shop at frequently is that they have a line that caters to foodies.  Not that The Wonder One and I consider ourselves foodies by any means.  Nor are we snobs about food or the origins of it like we know some people to be.  That's just not our way.  But when we can we are like anyone else, buying the best we can afford.  In our opinion, in this instance, it just so happens to be, this is the store brand and it happens to be cheaper.  In my opinion, that's a win-win combination!

For those of you who do not know what gelato is, it's basically Italian ice cream.  If it were to be made without milk or soy milk it would be sorbetto, which would be a good alternative for those who have a milk allergy.  In this particular instance, you'll find, this won't be a good choice for you. As a matter of fact if you have any sensitivities to nuts, peanuts, chocolate or milk, I'm afraid this is not a dessert of choice for you.

Putting all that aside, if you don't have those issues to contend with, a 1/2 cup serving is 4 points and it is 4 points of heaven!  The most creamy and delicious treat you have ever had the joy of having.  I wish that all of you had a Giant Eagle near you so that you could try this.  It's with the utmost restraint that only have the one or two servings at a time (yes, I sometimes have a whole cup for 9 points) otherwise I would be in serious trouble!

I go back to that old adage of not judging a book by it's cover.  Seriously, don't write off the store brands because you think they are beneath you just because it's the "generic" version.  You'll surprise yourself to find it's some of the tastiest stuff out there!  Go look in your local freezer for something yummy and let me know what you find!

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

It's Wednesday...

So as I inferred in yesterday's post, I knew today was going to be bad.  However what I didn't expect was that it wasn't as bad as it ended up being.

I mean that to say, is that what I ended up gaining was only 2 pounds!

YaY!  I'm happy with that.  You may be a bit confused by that but I'll elaborate.  Given that I didn't count my WWPP points on Thanksgiving, nor on our actual "Thanksgiving" (the day we actually celebrated) then over the course of the next few days we grazed on left overs, I wasn't counting points at all....for like *ahem* 4 days to be exact.......*blushes at the realization*.

Well, it does pay to count those puppies I can tell you, lol.  While I never gorged....well......except for the one day when family all got together.  I think we all did that day though. I think had we not brought home any left overs, I would've done much better.  But that's okay.  When this all started, I knew from previous attempts at weight loss and interactions with other people and their attempts at weight loss, I was going to give myself some off time from the plan.  But once that off time was done, I had to get right back on and forgive any gains and move forward.  This time around, truly, knowing that I might possibly gain, I'm good with it, that it was only 2 pounds, I feel like there truly isn't anything to forgive.  It'll be off quicker than you know it and, as Jackie Gleason used to say......"And away we go!"

Thinking on those off times, I only have one more off time (the other 2 being my birthday, this last one being Thanksgiving and the upcoming one being Christmas) which I think is a reasonable thing to do.  I say that because of my mother-in-law.  She was doing this one plan, I struggle to remember it now, I remember it was through her church and she met with quite a bit of success and kept it off for a very long time.  The only problem in it was that she drove her family crazy, in that she would say she couldn't eat this or that or another thing because it wasn't on her diet.  Which is fine, but because she did the cooking, the rest of the family didn't get to eat either.  I seem to recall, my youngest brother-in-law doing a lot of McDonald's runs, lol.  Thankfully he's none the worse for the wear, he's like his older brother The Wonder One in that he's an athlete so the fast food didn't hurt him.  The Wonder One was working his first job at the time in a restaurant so he was able to eat at work, so no hardships there either.  However the problem came during the holidays because it was particularly tough because she would then become defensive and well, you could probably see where it went from there if you use your imagination.  I don't begrudge the woman her successes at all, the only thing I would recommend was that she would have allowed for a day or two of off time for special occasions so that she can have some built in forgiveness if it were to be that she "slipped up" as it happens that we all will do.  Otherwise you end up dealing with the guilt that comes with overeating and the vicious circle afterwards of self hatred and then you end up spiraling out of control.  We are after all only human.  When we have our weaknesses be they what they may (mine vary, but usually they are sweets) and you indulge them, you have to forgive them and move forward.  Otherwise you end up undoing all the hard work you've put in.  All too often people try to put off that they can ignore their baser instincts and not do whatever it is that is within them to do. However, in the end, they break down and do it anyway saying "Well, only this one time..." Trust me, I know, I've done it so many times.  That's why when I started this time around I thought long and hard about it and realized that I needed to have these times built in for myself so that I could indulge.  It's the getting back in the groove that's the hard part.  But I have The Wonder One to kick me in the pants and he's good for doing it and keeping me on track.  I firmly believe that knowing that I will be getting back on track, while not counting points but still knowing there is a deadline to my indulgence helped keep me from going overboard, but yet still having a good time..........I just realized, I'm going to have to allow for a fourth off time.  lol I forgot about my anniversary as we started the plan after our anniversary but before our birthdays and the holidays! lol Oh my.  But it's all good.  So long as I plan ahead and mentally prepare myself.  I'll be okay.

So..........until Christmas..........I'm back in the groove.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

The dreaded upcoming weigh in...

So, last Thursday was Thanksgiving here in the United States, as is the custom here in the states, most people will find that they go off their diets and do "it" big or go home.

While The Barnacle and The Wonder One and I went out to eat on Thanksgiving because it was just the three of us (my family is scattered and his family was eating on Friday) we figured we'd go to an "All-You-Can-Eat-Buffet"....the only one to put that to the test was The Barnacle.  I'm truly kicking myself for it now for not taking pics of her plate because I know you as my loyal cheering section probably won't believe me when I say her plate was loaded doooowwwwnnnnn with the thickness of food!  Seriously.  On her plate was more food than what The Wonder One and I had COMBINED!!!  Then when it came time for dessert....I was embarrassed for her.  Not to mention disgusted.  You would think that she was never let out of the house and was never fed, but then you would have to know better just because of the sheer size of her.  (She weighs as much as I do ~ if not more, but where I'm 5'6"...she's 4'11" she's a BIG momma!)

The Wonder One and I knowing that we were getting together with family the following day, held our appetite in check and behaved ourselves (for the most part) until it came time to go to the "Chocolate Wonderfall" (yes we went to the Golden Corral, while not a bad place, on a holiday, I was doing a lot of channeling of Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory "What fresh hell have we gotten ourselves into".....All I can say is listen people, only you think your kids' squealing and dancing is cute, to those of us with bleeding eardrums and only slightly fractured shins, we do not. /end rant.)  Back at the Chocolate was soooo nice to have fresh pineapple smothered in chocolate.  Ditto for the Rice Krispy treats and the strawberries and the macaroons.  I mostly had pineapple though.  I didn't have a lot of food, I wasn't all that hungry, a piece of chicken and a piece of meatloaf with some sweet potatoes and green bean stuff not a lot.

Great thing is that I discovered that I can't eat like I used to.  YaY!  I just can't load up my plate, it really just makes me queasy.  Not only that, the after effects are a gastrointestinal NIGHTMARE.  I was in the loo literally all night long.  I didn't get two hours strung together of sleep.  It was so not pretty.  Thankfully it stopped long enough for me to get the turkey in the oven which from what I'm told ended up being very good.  Where The Wonder One and I did our damage is when the family and all of us got together.  We were a glutton.  We ate like pigs.  Full on.  For two days. 

I am soooooo not looking forward to tomorrow.

The only thing I can hope for is that my gastrointestinal nightmare balances out all the Thanksgiving grazing that we did......

I hope!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Thursday Review...(yeah, I know it's Tuesday...)

However Cheerleaders, there is a means to my madness.

This is a long post but I think you might find it worth the read, just a heads up.

As you know when time permits I have a schedule that I try to stick to.  Things have been a bit wonky these past few weeks, however they should be settling down somewhat.  Except...

*Cue ominous sounding music*

The holidays...

Yes I said it.  Turkey day is coming up.  Which got me to thinking.  The holidays will be over and people will be wanting to lose what they've gained over them.   I've mentioned that I do Weight Watchers (Points Plus), but I've never done a review on it.  Yet I've never done a review on any of the diets that I've done.  Nor have I given my personal perspective of how it came to be that I decided to use WWPP and what other plans I looked at.  So let me start at the beginning.

Using a BMI calculator from the CDC (Center for Disease Control) I calculated my BMI and found that I was morbidly obese because my BMI was over 40. (To be exact it was 46.2, rather scary and alarming looking back on it now)  With a BMI of 46.2 I was morbidly obese and could have probably qualified for bariatric surgery.  I know of several people who've had it done.  I'm hoping I can get one of them to be a guest writer one day to write of her experience, but until I get the chance to approach her and we talk about it, that post will be for another time.  Mooooving on....

I did my research with regard to bariatric surgery and lap band surgery.  The thing that disturbed me the most in all of it was that two of the people that I know had some major complications and very nearly died.  As well, I was unable to find any long term studies to show long term results.  There were no findings to show that after 5 to 10 years those who've had surgical intervention kept off the weight they had lost.  To me, that was not an option.  I knew that once I'd worked so hard to get this weight off, I wanted it to stay off!  Don't think that just because you've had surgical intervention that it's not work neither!  Just ask anyone who's had it done, they can tell you.  It's still a battle.  I felt this wasn't a fit for me as I didn't have any life threatening medical conditions that required me to lose weight quickly (which most, not all lose weight quickly in the beginning then it slows down) and I felt that it was a permanent solution (cutting into my body) for a temporary problem (the excess weight which will be lost once I put forth the effort) because I know, I'll get this weight off, come hell or high water.  I know that for those that have had it done, they made the decision and did their own research very carefully and for them it was the right choice.  I applaud them for doing it, I support them in that endeavor.  I just couldn't personally make that decision for myself.  I know as well, for all of us, this journey we're on, this fight that we fight daily with our bodies to get it to do what we want, is a constant challenge.  There is no easy way and I'll fight with anyone who says that using a surgical intervention is the easy way out.

In the past I'd done WW, with little a little bit of success.  The last time was with the Points plan but in that incarnation, I felt it was a miserable plan and had no luck at all because even though I followed the plan to the letter, I didn't lose any weight.  I think I actually gained a pound or two.  Talk about frustrating!  So I was quickly a WW dropout (again).  Also it seemed to be that any time I'd been on WW I'd go to the meetings then I'd miss a week then the following week I'd have to pay for the week I'd missed, etc.  In that form of the plan, it really didn't suit me.

I'd also done the high-fiber cookie diet.  It's this super dense super high fiber cookie (the damn thing has 40% more fiber than rope!) that you eat before each meal with 8oz of water.  It blows up in your stomach, makes you feel queasy, then you run to the bathroom to blow out your butt.  While I had the cleanest colon on the west side of Columbus, I knew that this was not a long term solution as I hadn't learned to eat right and exercise, two things I had unlearned in order to gain all the weight.

I've done The South Beach Diet.  It's sort of like Atkins in that you have a "phase" where you limit your carb intake. Which if memory serves me correctly is 2 weeks.  Speaking of memory....seriously....anytime you have to seriously cut back your carbs like you do in any of these sorts of diets, it's a bad bad thing.  You NEED carbs for vital mental functioning.  If you don't have a balance between carbs and proteins your brain won't have anything to feed on and it gets all sorts of ugly.  I'm just saying.  You can only do it for so long.  If you've done an extreme low carb diet and you've felt that woozy light headed giddy feeling that's why.  It's your body's way of saying "Danger Will Robinson, Danger Will Robinson"  Then after that 2 week first phase you go into another phase (the length eludes me) and you stay on that for however long and the reigns loosen up somewhat however, not by much.  I say that because South Beach says that there are certain foods that you CANNOT eat!  I'm sorry, say what?  Say that again?  I cannot eat certain foods?  Wait a second, hold up, I cannot eat certain foods because why?  I mean it's one thing if I'm allergic to certain foods and I can't.  **Side note:  It was because of the South Beach Diet that I found out that I'm deathly allergic to shellfish so I guess that's a good thing.**  But to flat out tell me I can't eat something like.......pineapple.  Which by the way is one of my favorite fruits........that sent up warning signals.  While Queenie, who had done South Beach with her hubby (The Wonder One's brother) and met with great and amazing success had explained that it was due to the high sugar (i.e., carb) content, that is why it was forbidden.  I'll let Queenie comment on her end results and how she's done since being on the program in the comments section.

So then moving on to using some common sense and not really following a diet plan at all.  I did that for a few months as well, lost about 30 pounds.  Then over the course of time put it back on.  So I was back where I started plus 3 pounds at the end of April, beginning of May when The BFF mentioned going on WWPP because they had the new Points Plus, check it out for a week for free, what could it hurt?  So I decided to do it online and have The Wonder One and The Barnacle do it with me because we all needed to lose the excess weight that had been slowing us down and let's face it, misery loves company.

I have to say, since being back to WWPP, it's the longest I've stuck to a plan and I don't view it as a diet but a game plan to meet a goal.  It's livable, and workable.  When need be I take my scale with me (to family dinners to weigh out meats) and I make sure for those sorts of events there are plenty of things that I can eat that fit into my eating plan.  With The Wonder One having done the plan with me and lost his 57 pounds he understands what all this means because he's lived it.  I allow myself days off and plan for it because I know they're coming (such as Thanksgiving) and work them into my eating strategy.  When I know that I may over indulge I also try to work on a bit more cardio because that gains me a few more points for the week that I can use.  It's very flexible which I think is the key here.

Any extremes in any one direction or another in my opinion is a very bad thing.  When a diet plan tells you that all you have to eat is pounds upon pounds of bacon to lose weight, ask yourself......can my arteries take that kind of abuse?  Then when another plan tells you to give up something like fruit, something that's supposed to be good for you (yes, I know it's got a high sugar content) guess what ends up happening when you can't have it at all?  You are a glutton for it.  Since being on WWPP, I've had pineapple MAYBE a half dozen times, but it's been fresh, not from the can.  I can take a certain amount of pleasure in that.

I don't want to feel guilt for eating something I enjoy.

Do you?

I honestly can't recommend WWPP enough, if it's something that can work for you.  If  you enjoy grazing, it probably won't work for you if you don't like grazing on fruits and vegetables.  The BFF hates fruits & vegetables so WWPP ended up not working out for her.  Pity because if she'd tried working on that disdain for the fruits & veggies I think she would've had a better time of it.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Funny Monday

How big do I need to get my friends to be in order to look like a size 4?

Monday, November 14, 2011

Funny Monday

Yeah, I would have to agree, this is pretty spot on!

**Image is not owned by me, but by

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Thursday Review...

So the last time The Wonder One and I did our pantry stock-up shopping I found this in the ethnic food aisle at our local Giant Eagle.  Given that I'd given much yapping to possibly getting my mojo back in several posts because I was losing weight again which you can see here and here, when I saw this product staring back at me from the store shelf, I had to do two things right away. 

One was to laugh.  Not just a dainty "oh isn't that sweet" laugh, but one of those "Oh, holy hell, that's some funny shit!" belly laugh cackles.  Now anyone who knows me can tell you, when I get a good laugh on, they can tell I'm not faking my laugh. 

The second thing I had to do was to snap a picture of the bottle. 

(I couldn't get my personal image to upload, this is the company's image, this image does not belong to me)

As well I couldn't get any of my other images to load for some reason so I have to rely on Badia's information for the rest of this review.  


Onion, garlic, Cumin, Oregano, salt, Black pepper, Orange and Lemon Juice

(Oy! I hate when Blogger is not being cooperative)

As well the nutritional information is pretty much good except for the sodium which is 135mg/Tbsp everything else is 0, 0 Calories, 0 Fat, 0 Carbs, 0 Cholesterol.

So all the boring but necessary stuff is out of the way.  I'm sure your wondering about the IMPORTANT stuff.

How's it taste?

I used it to marinade pork chops because I'm not much of a pork eater, I only buy it when it's on sale to stretch out our budget and menu and I like to marinade it to give it flavor because I find usually pork is on the dry side.  This stuff is amazing!  It's tasty and flavorful!  It's got some zip and tang to it.  With the orange and lime juice in it, it helps to tenderize the meat nicely while the garlic and onion (which I believe is actually scallions) give it some really nice flavor.

What turned out to be a fun purchase based on the name, ended up being a treasure find.  I will def be repurchasing it again to use on other meats such as chicken and beef and can't wait to see how they turn out too!

If you try this yourself, please let me know what you used it on and how it worked for you, I'm always on the look out for new recipes!

Hugs n' toodles cheerleaders!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

It's Wednesday...

So I'll just cut to the chase this week.

I'm not a big fat loser.  Well I am, but only because I didn't lose (insert pouty face here) this week.  I put a little bit back on.  What is a little bit you may be wondering?  Three pounds to be exact.  To some three pounds is a lot, but when you consider what all I have to lose and have lost, it's a little bit, lol.  Am I upset?  Not really.  Am I worried?  Nope.

"But Chubbybutt, you've been working so hard and have been doing so well, I'd be freaking out if I were you!" ahhh I understand my faithful cheerleader just what it is you are saying, however, I'm not worrying because, well, it is "that" time of the month.  I figure come next week, it'll all balance itself out.

If not, THEN I'll be freaking out!

So, until the next weigh in, keep an eye out for a yummy new review coming and a few other surprises I have up my sleeve for you.

Till then, hugs n' toodles, cheerleaders xoxox

Thursday, November 3, 2011

It's Wednesday...(yeah I know it's Thursday...)

This past week saw a lot of celebrating over the new part-time job that I was offered.  And yes, I accepted.  I thought I was going to be offered this one full-time job, but, as it turned out, I've not heard from them.  Weird.  They'd been looking for help, apparently no one had applied (except me) and yet, I didn't get an offer.  It was a customer service job and while my customer service experience is limited somewhat, I really do believe that nursing is the ultimate customer service job.  Maybe that's just me...

Anyway, that's the nutshell version of what's been going on in chubbybuttland. 

Onto what you're here for...

The weigh-in...

So there was some celebrating like I said, and as with any celebrating, food was involved.  Probably more than there should've been, but at least I was still a big fat loser!  At this weeks weigh in I lost 1.5 pounds!  I'm sure I would've lost more had I not done so much celebrating like I mentioned, lol.  So that takes my grand total to 39 off and my current weight to 247!  Here on in these are all going to be numbers I haven't seen in decades! 

Wow, what a new experience!

I feel positively glowing!

Monday, October 31, 2011

Funny Monday

This doesn't sound good...
 That's why I always say use common sense and a sound diet plan...No Fad diets!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Thursday Review...

As I'm sure all of you've gathered, I'm always on the look out for yummy snacks.  Also I'm on the look out for budget friendly snacks that aren't going to bust the budget.  So when I saw this store brand yummyness in the freezer, I had to give it a try.

And I have to say, I was very impressed!  Not only was it budget friendly, but it was nice and creamy, with a mouth feel that rivals regular brand name confections!  Impressive indeed!  It is sweetened with sugar so those who have a problem with artificial sweeteners will like this a lot better.  Personally it doesn't matter to me.  The body metabolizes them the same either way, for me personally, there are times when I'd rather have the full flavor and no after taste that sometimes the artificial sweeteners can leave behind, yet when I've eaten a bit much for the day, I'll go for the low cal artificial sweetened products to get by.  Depending on whom you talk to (you can find experts for each camp) artificial sweeteners can or they may not cause health problems with prolonged use.  Also if you have an issue with milk, you won't be able to eat this.  Just make sure if you have food allergies cheerleaders, you read your labels carefully!  I don't want any of you sick or not feeling well on my count.

I say, why chance it.  Use it if you must, but if you don't have to, then don't.  I'm not an advocate for either side. lol How's that for being undecided.

As for this product....getting back to the topic at hand, it was excellent.  Do yourself a favor, don't turn your nose up to a store brand/generic label.  Just because it doesn't have the fancy expensive "who's who" label on the box doesn't mean it wasn't actually produced by that fancy schmancy company.  Often times they make products for the stores.

Little bit of known trivia for my cheerleaders.  Wayyyyyyyy back in the day I worked at Wal*Mart (a very long time ago) and the Sam's Choice soda was bottled by I think it was kidding!  The Sam's Choice Thunder (maybe it's lightening...I don't drink it, sorry) Soda is actually Dr. Pepper!  So if you get the Diet version you're actually getting Diet Dr. Pepper at a fraction of the price.  Granted the label says your drinking a generic, but if you're drinking it at home, who's going to know and won't you be the one who's richer for it?

Just thought you might like to have that for your wallet.

Till next time.

Hugs N' Toodles

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

It's Wednesday...

So with all the excitement that started last Wednesday, then got ramped up on Monday, I was a wee bit nervous about stepping on the scale today.

What would it say?  What would I see?  Would I like the numbers that were there?  If they were "bad" numbers, would I take these numbers personally too like I've been taking all the bad news I've been taking lately?  Would I sink even further into the funk that started a while ago or would this be the beginning of what could possibly help bring me out of this funk I've found myself in?

Well my ever faithful cheerleaders, all I can say is that it is with a resounding and a very victorious "YES!" I am happy that this week I am a very happy loser......I mean that with all the positivity in the world.

I suppose you're wondering how much I lost?  Well, I lost 4.5 pounds to put me at 248.5, once again, the lowest weight that I can recall being in more than 20 years. Yes, it does bring a tear to my eyes.  So my total now is 37.5 pounds gone. Please understand, that while losing this weight doesn't seem like much of a feat, for this chubby butt, the most I've ever lost at any one given effort is maybe at most 20 pounds.  Then I would go back to my previous ways of eating and regain it all over again. Possibly a pound or two more.  So this time around it is the longest I've stuck to an eating plan.  Granted there for a while I wasn't losing anything.  Quite possibly it was a plateau. Or maybe not.  But like I said last week, I think maybe I got my mojo back.  I can only hope!  We'll see what happens next week.

I'm still in a daze.  Just doesn't seem real.  It's all rather exciting!

Monday, October 24, 2011

Just to let you know...

After this past weekends post, I did make it into the doctor's office this afternoon.  It was with no surprise they had me get on the scale.

What was the surprise was that since last Wednesday, I am down to 249.5! My mouth hung open, a little string of drool started to slide out and the medical assistant came over and knocked into me to tell me to gather myself up.

I jumped off to run out to the front office to tell them what I weighed.  The office manager, the doctors' wife and I all three probably looked like to any stranger walking by who happened to look in the window, three women having seizures, but I can assure you, we were three women doing the happy dance!

All I could do and say to them was that I have not weighed that in probably 10, maybe 15 or more years!

And just think.........this isn't even the official weigh in day!

I wonder what Wednesday will bring?

Funny Monday

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Some Self Discovery Along The Way...

The past few weeks have really broken me down spiritually.  Since leaving my job and trying to find a new one, it's been tough, then on top of that with not losing my weight like I'm working at trying to.  It's all very...trying.  The one thing that didn't occur to me, until now, that I probably should've addressed, if to no one else but myself, was depression.  I've had it before.  There's no shame in it, that I know.  I just need to face it head on, admit that right now it's an issue and deal with it.

I guess recognizing there was a problem then actually putting a name to how I've been feeling was the hardest part.

Everyone knows that this month is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. But did you know it was Depression Awareness Month too?  I didn't.  I just found out.  There are so many other issues out there that people face besides the big ones that need our attention that are just as lethal.  People can die from depression just as easily as a car accident or cancer but yet, you don't hear about it.  It truly is a shame, and a tragedy.

Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything stupid.  lol, I'm too busy feeling sorry for myself.  Besides, I can always console myself with a good cry and using my extra points with my two best friends...Ben & Jerry.  Then come Monday, I'm calling the doctor,  even though I should've done it a few weeks ago, now is probably a good time to get on an antidepressant.  It couldn't hurt. 

Then once I'm back to work or feeling better or whatnot, we'll talk again and see where I am.

But right now, I'm all cried out.  Or maybe not. 

Anyone have some Kleenex?

Friday, October 21, 2011

Blasting in my ears right now...

This has been a great week and I've had some new tunes beatin' it around in my head along with some old ones.  We'll start with the old one first...

Now for the new tune (at least to me it is) that's slammin around my head...(I have to say the video is hysterical but it's also not for the faint of heart neither, so if you're easily offended, no not watch it!)
Hope you get your booty movin and have a good laugh (I'm sorry but that video is funny as hell!) and if all else fails, just throw on what you like and bounce it around the house for a good little workout!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Basking in the glow...

I have to admit after yesterday's weigh in, being totally stunned by that weight loss, I got back on the scale today to make sure there wasn't some sort of foul up.

Just to give you an idea of how my weigh ins go, I do weigh in at home, I stopped  weighing in at the doctor's office.  It was rather frustrating not seeing results or not seeing the sort of results I wanted to see and then having to look the office staff in the eye as I was leaving.  It felt like I could see the disappointment in their face.  I don't know that it was a judgement per se, but didn't feel good.  So I stopped weighing in there and went back to weighing in at home.  So weighing in at home, I go downstairs to where the good doctor's scale is (and not the crappy digital scale is upstairs) and strip down to my birthday suit.  Ooops, sorry for the scary mental image there.  Slowly I step on the scale one foot at a time, as if I'm expecting the scale to start screaming out in pain or something.  Then The Wonder One comes over and looks for me to see what it is. Because he can get closer to the dial and get a better looksee at what it says than what I can five fee six inches away.  Besides, he's younger than I am, it's easier for him to get down there to look.  Yeah yeah, it's only two weeks, but still, if he's willing to get down there to look, who am I to stop him? 

The funny part about yesterday was that he was at work when I did my weigh in!  He didn't even get to see it!  So yeah, without him there to confirm that new lower number, I needed to reaffirm that it was in fact 253.  Yep, it was!  Woohoo! lol I wasn't just wishfully seeing things! lol What a relief! 

The Wonder One said last night when he asked how I did on my weigh in that was what I finally needed.  I have to admit, he was right.

Just do me a favor?

Don't tell him I said that.

Something new...

Something yummy and tasty

I eat 2 wedges, which are a total of 1 point with 10 Club Reduced Fat Crackers which are 4 points for a nice snack (2 points/5 crackers).  Laughing Cow has a nice variety of cheeses, I've had the French Onion and the Blue Cheese (Yes it's Blue, and not Bleu I checked to make sure for the Frenchie and other cheese heads out there), while some have a stronger taste, they are smooth and creamy and spread well.  Nothing I hate more than try to spread cheese on a cracker and then have the cracker break all over the place.  As for the strong taste, I personally think it just matters as to what you're in the mood for unless you just over all don't care for strong flavors in general.  The only bad thing that I found with this product was getting into it.  The 8 wedges per package are individually wrapped and the way they are wrapped are a hassle to get into then once opened the point of the wedge gets broken off and drops off (at least that seems to be what always happens to me anyways) and lands on the floor.  So just know that is a flaw in the packaging and be careful when opening.  I did try these without crackers once and found them to not be as satisfying, so I would recommend a cracker of some sort, my personal favorite is the Keebler Club Cracker (I always use the reduced fat one) which has a nice mild flavor to it.  As well, note that if you have a milk allergy you would need to stay away from this product.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

It's Wednesday...

It really is Wednesday Cheerleaders and I have some fan-freakin'-tastic news to share!

I'm a big fat loser this week!  Not just your average run of the mill big fat loser, but jumping up and down, I finally hit my second goal and cruised on past it and am sailing on down now to my next goal!  I'm so happy and excited I can't see straight!  I lost 7 pounds this week to hit 253!  My second goal was 257.4.

Just to refresh your memories because I know it's been a while since I've had monumental news like this to share.  My first goal was to hit 5% of my body weight lost.  My second goal was 10% lost.  Now my third goal is to hit the number 222, the reason I want to hit that specific number is because that was the last number I saw on the scale before I stopped weighing myself when I was pregnant some 25 years ago.  Then I ballooned up to what I am now.  After that number is hit, my fourth number is to break 200.  Reason being is I haven't ever weighed less than 200 as an adult.  Ever.  So here I finally coming to terms with growing up and getting fit.

Bout damn time, eh?

I really want to thank you cheerleaders for all your support, it really means the world to me.    After I break 200 we'll work on figuring out a number then that I can cruise on into having be my permanent goal.   

I think I finally got my mojo back!  YaY!

Friday, October 14, 2011

It's Wednesday...(yeah I know it's *gasp*Friday...)

This is going to be short and sweet and to the point.

I gained 2 pounds this week.


Not a stellar week.

I really need to get back to the gym.

I really think since I stopped working I stopped......working.  On pretty much everything.  Well, that has to stop.  I had an interview earlier this week with Macy's.  The interviewer said that she's going to give the manager my information and have me come back in for another interview.  We'll see.  I've heard that before.

As well, I've had the phone ring twice in as many days, with interest with regard to applications that I had put in one six months ago, the other about a month ago or so.  Both jobs look promising so we'll see how it goes there as well.  I'm rather excited either way it goes!

Maybe I can be rather hopeful now and not so bummed out.

Come on cheerleaders, cheer me on!

Monday, October 10, 2011

Funny Monday


Now if we could have all of our workouts be so motivating...

Friday, October 7, 2011

Blasting in my ears right now...

What's getting me moving this week is some old and new stuff... with a mix of genre's to boot (no pun intended'll understand in a minute)...

Always a favorite and never far from my heart...



Find your inspiration wherever it may be and run with it.  Take no shame in it.  Let it carry you to seeing your dreams come true.

You'll get there.

We all will, come hell or high water.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Hey Cheerleaders!

No I didn't forget where my computer was...

Last week I had family in from out of town and went a bit astray.

Soooo I wasn't a big fat loser this week. 


I didn't gain neither which is nice.

One night in particular I went off the deep end of the diet.....


Let's just say, I ordered my vegetarian Mexican cheese and onion enchilada but by the time it got to the table I was so provoked and frustrated that I ended up getting a nice ice cold one of these...
It was draft, tall and really quite BIG and with the lime......rather tasty.  By the time it was done, I was nice and settled and told I had a nice glow about me.  lol  Hell, by the time I was done, I didn't care any longer why it was that I was pissed off because I was going home and was no longer going to be around the person who put me in the funk I was in.  Dos Equis is a beautiful thing I've come to believe!

Although, I do have to admit cheerleaders, I am in need of your help a bit more now than ever before.

The Wonder One hit his goal weight a few weeks back and I realized that I'm now doing this alone.  I'm not doing this so much with someone like I was when he and I were doing it together.  Kinda changes things a bit.  Kinda bums me out a bit.  That's where you come in.  I need to hear a little bit from ya, let me know you're there.  Breathe heavy if you have to, cough, do something to let me know you're there.

That way I don't feel so alone in this.

Otherwise, it'll get a bit lonesome and frustrating.

We can't have that now can we?

Nahhhhhhh, didn't think so!

Thanks!  I knew you could do it!

Now that everything is back to quasi-normal around here, posting should resume as it was before with posts being what they were.  So just bear with me and you'll get your reviews on Thursdays, Playlists on Fridays, etc.

Oh yeah and by the way....

The Wonder One and I found the coolest thing at Sears...

We're going to go and get a stationary bike!  We're going to put it in the livingroom so that the barnacle can try to swing a leg over it (hey, now, stifle the laughter) and get on and ride it.  We'll all take turns on it upstairs.  It's a nice little machine.  Now that Sears is doing lay-a-way again, we're able to utilize that feature without putting it on our credit card (saving on finance charges and all) and having something to look forward to!  I'm rather chuffed!  I can't wait.  I'm just looking forward to seeing if the barnacle can get on it.  And yes I have to admit I am trying to stifle a laugh....

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

It's Wednesday...

So today, The Wonder One and I both weighed in.

Today he hit his goal!  I'm so proud of him!  He's lost 50 pounds!

Today I'm a loser...just glad I can say that lol.

Lost a 1.5 this week to take me to 258.  Still trying to get to that elusive 257.4 which is my 2nd goal to hit my 10% goal.  My next goal once I hit this one will be 222 pounds. 

You may be thinking "But Chubby Butt, why 222?  I mean it's a cute number and all, but kinda odd don'tcha think?"

Nah, I'll explain why.

222 pounds is what I weighed before I got pregnant.  It was the last number I remember weighing as an adult.  Before that, I don't really have any sort of recollection of what my weight was.  So with 222 being weight goal number 3, weight goal number four will be to break 200.  Once I hit 199, I honestly have no idea what my goal weight will be after that.

At 5'6" my understanding is that I should be 130 pounds, 100 for the first 5 feet and 5 pounds for every inch after that.  So I dunno.  We'll have to wait and see how it goes.

Here's to crossed fingers and 0.6 of a pound!

Hugs and Toodles

Friday, September 23, 2011

Blasting in my ears right now...

Pounding it out on the treadmill or on the trails...

To keep the groove moving it along...

By the time you've walked/bounced your way through these two groovin' tracks if you're not sweatin' something off, then I think you should be checked for a pulse!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

It's Wednesday...(yeah I know it's Thursday...)

I didn't get around to doing my post yesterday because well......

I was dragging my feet in having to admit that I wasn't a big loser.

<insert sad face here>

I gained 2 pounds.  The perplexing thing in it is that I don't know how it is that I gained the 2 pounds.  Well, that's not exactly true.  I can surmise that it's due in part that I didn't get out to exercise like I usually do.  As well it was that time of the month and The Wonder One in a generous act of compassion brought home a fistful of chocolate.  Which did not survive the beat down I gave it.

Actually it did, but only by like, I'd say, 3.2 seconds.

Otherwise, it was a good week, so to see those numbers pop up is kind of disheartening.  Knowing I'm so close to my 10% goal and have it feel sooooooo far away is maddening.

The one good thing in all of this is that the slate is wiped clean and a new week can begin again.

Here's to new weeks!

Thursday Review...

This Week's Product
(It's new at least to me)

As is usually the case, at least for me, when I find something I like, I stick with it.  Which then leads to a rut.  Which I find usually leads me to a slowing down of my weight loss.  So I thought I would mix things up a bit when it comes to my morning routine.  

One day last week I went to pick up The Wonder One from work and we stopped off at the local bread store to pick up a few things, as we were wandering about (more accurate to say, as I was wandering about, as I'd not been there in years....he can get in and out of there in less than 60 seconds, lol), I noticed this cereal sitting on the shelf and with the cold weather fast approaching, it sounded like it might be good for a change.

Now to say this first and foremost, anyone who knows me, knows I do not, repeat, do NOT eat breakfast.  Let alone cereal.  So this is groundbreaking.  Or breaking new ground for me, either way, as it would be, I think it was the apples and cinnamon that really caught my eye.  

Damn my eyes!

I say that because they were blinded to the big red banner that said FLAX SEED!!  Uhhhh yeah.  It's not pretty.  I do have to say, I am one of those people that eats food based on texture, so if it's got a wonky texture, I am so not in it.  I will have to give it another try, maybe put in a bit of milk to thin it out a bit, because if you let it sit for any longer than a nano second, then you have your mortar to repairing your retaining wall in your basement.  You'll never have to fear about any flooding in your basement again!  My first bowl full I could only eat half of it.  It just got to hard to eat the other half.  Not that I didn't want to.  Well, I didn't, but it was because I was afraid I'd chip a tooth.

So my lesson learned is to eat fast, not to dilly dally while eating and do NOT let this stuff cool off in the slightest, to do so is to surely bring peril upon a molar.  Maybe I'll add a dash of milk next time.  And a packet of Equal?  Didn't have much flavor to speak of either.  Smelled good out of the bag, but not when the spoon was coming to your mouth.

There is something to be said for nose and tastebud appeal.

For those with nut allergies and you still want to give this a whirl, because it is good for you in the heart healthy sense.  I'm afraid it's got every possible nut in it.  It is an all natural product (probably why it has the issues it does and why I'm not used to it, hey! My first all natural product!  YaY! I did eat half of it at least, so that's saying something!) So I would say stay away from it at all costs.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Funny Monday

May my small gains never be this bad!

Filling in some gaps...(a family history lesson)


This post is of a very personal nature.  If you feel you cannot handle it, please feel free to move on and there'll be no hard feelings.  Of this I promise.  However, please note, this is why comments are monitored/screened before being posted.  Any one that feels the need to be hateful or hurtful in leaving their comments they can just go ahead and click the little red x up at the top right hand side of your screen now.

Thank you.

Yesterdays post was to explain some of my self loathing.  How it came to be that I let food be my source of comfort.  How it is now that I have to look at it as a means to fuel my body and to some extent as a poison.  Given what it can do to me, food isn't always a good thing, what it has done to my health and where I'm trying to recover from it is a long arduous process. 

It's only now that as an adult I can look back and see where a lot of my poor eating habits began.  I'm not blaming any one person.  After all, no one held the fork to my mouth and the gun to my head.  It's with open eyes and a clear head and a mended heart I can look back on all the self destruction and see where I fell short and did so much damage to myself in an effort to soothe a broken soul.

When you're 7, 8 years old and moving into a new neighborhood and you're the new kid on the block and don't know anyone, you are the kid that is going to walk around with that bulls eye on your back.  I didn't know I had it there, but it was there none the less.  (Due to all the moving and evictions/homelessness, there are few pictures of me at this age but I'm certain I don't look much different than the picture I posted yesterday, where I'm approximately 4 or 5 years old)  As you can see, I was a normal kid.  Maybe even a wee bit on the scrawny side.  At that time, it was about the time my parents had just split up, the barnacle living on her own for the first time in her life.  She'd gone from her parents house to the Army to her first husband's home then to be divorced, then to live with my dad, and now, here we are.  At 32/33 years old, she had no clue what she was doing.  (Probably explains why now at 71, she acts the way she does.)  It was then that I started spending the weekends with my grandparents who were the barnacles mother and step-father.  That's when I learned a different means to showing you loved someone. 

Grandma would fix dinner and if there were just the slightest little bit left over, "oh you get that last little bit and eat it so I don't have to wrap it up and put it in the fridge" was usually what I would hear.  Every meal, every time.  If she made something that I refused to eat, instead of me going hungry (which let's face it, most kids wouldn't hurt them to learn to suffer through a meal or two...after all liver is so good for you) my grandmother would go to KFC for my dinner.  There were only two meals I refused to eat, liver & onions and beans & ham hocks (with them being "country folk" they ate it a lot) .   **please ignore any gagging sounds you may hear**

While grandma was showing me she loved me, her second husband was too.  Since they had gotten married many many years before I was born, he'd always been there.  He was always my "grandfather".  It was, what it was.  It wasn't until I was about 12 or so when I realized that grandpa's just aren't supposed to show they love their granddaughters they love them like that.  I stood up to him and that was the end of it.  Grandma caught him once, beat the ever loving shit out of him.  Yet she never left him for it.  She was of that generation where you stood by your man no matter what.

Many years later I confronted both of them.  In their way they both sought forgiveness.  I forgave.

If I hadn't, wouldn't I be no better than him when he was committing his sin?

When my father came back into the picture and stirred up the self loathing just a bit more, at that time I didn't know or realize that I even was capable of loathing myself, I just took it for what it was.  Just one more way that the men in my life told me they cared about me.  The Wonder One was the exception to that rule.  Thankfully.  I'd probably be insane by now otherwise, lol.  That's one of the reasons he is my Wonder One, in spite of all of this, he loves me anyway.

I did get to spend time with my father and get to know him some.  When I wanted to go to nursing school he told someone "I don't know why she's pursuing this, she never finishes what she starts."   I did have to drop out of nursing school the first time around because he died.  He died from a massive heart attack two days before my birthday, a week into school. Funny part in all this is, I didn't know he said that until graduation day when I went back and finished nursing school the second time around.  At my commencement ceremony I took part and gave a speech about the lighting of the lamp of knowledge and Florence Nightingale. 

My only regret was that he wasn't there to see me finish.

That's why all of this is so important to me, getting the weight off (so I can get healthy...he was 52 when he died, I'm only 45 I don't want to go out that way), figuring out how and why I got to be this big...get rid of the mental baggage as it were so that I won't put the weight back on (hence the blog)....and hopefully in the end, if I can help someone else through my process with theirs, then I've done my job not once, but twice.

I share this with you, not because it's some sort of big deal, because it's not, there are people who've been through worse, but because you too may have been through your share of shit and think that you're the only one.  I'm here to tell you, you aren't.  The one thing I've had to learn in all this is to let it all go and stay in the past instead of follow me about and hang on my neck like a huge weight.  If I don't shed this self loathing and guilt for self perceived things I've done wrong, when will I be able to get things right?  At some point it's all got to go.

Right now, oddly enough, I've got to go, I've got to go eat, I've spent the morning writing this and now I'm starving!

Talk soon!

Hugs & Toodles

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Filling in some gaps...(a family history lesson)


 This post is of a very personal nature.  If you feel you cannot handle it, please feel free to move on and there'll be no hard feelings.  Of this I promise.  However, please note, this is why comments are monitored/screened before being posted.  Any one that feels the need to be hateful or hurtful in leaving their comments they can just go ahead and click the little red x up at the top right hand side of your screen now. 

Thank you.

A while back while posting a playlist I made mention that I would explain why it is that I loved certain songs (specifically those that speak of empowerment, particularly female empowerment), at that time, I said that I'd explain later.  I think now is later and is a good time to go into why I take those sorts of songs rather personally.

When I was a kid my parents got divorced when I was 6 or so.  My father disappeared when I was nearly 8.  Over the years I made many attempts to try and find him, always getting close, yet never close enough.  When I'd ask the barnacle why it was they got divorced, she'd tell me "he got my best friend pregnant and he had to marry her."  Keep in mind this was back in the early 70's, a time when divorce wasn't as commonplace as it is today.  Even still to a 9 year old, this didn't make much sense.  He had me, why would he just up and leave me?  I could never figure it out.  I was daddy's little girl.  I only have one picture of us as a family and even at that my older cousin is in it.  I don't talk much to her unfortunately, she's basically on the other side of the country and at that we've hardly a thing in common.  Yet we've a few family pictures we're in.

Dad, Me, The Barnacle & Cousin

I'm the little one that's got the "chicken legs" as my dad would say, lol.  So going on, growing up with the barnacle, yes that's her in the photo above.  The 1.0 version of her.  I dare not post a 2.0 version, firstly I don't think I have a current photo and lastly I don't think your monitor would be wide enough for the image.

Anyway, moving on, she would tell me that he got my step-monster pregnant and that's why he took off, so I promised myself...."Self, if ever you meet up with your Dad again, find out why he left". 

That's just what I did.

I always said that if ever my Dad wanted to try and find me he would and how he would do it if he were a smart man would be to send a letter to my grandmother (the barnacle's mother) and she'd forward it to me.  Which is exactly what he did.

I got that letter 3 weeks before my 25th birthday.  I sent him a letter overnight postal to call me, collect if need be, the number and photos of my wedding day.

The Wonder One and Me (age 23)

I got the letter on a Friday, sent it out that very day and he got it on a Saturday, called me that afternoon from California.  We talked for quite a while.  First thing I asked him that I promised myself that I would, oh so many years before..."Why did you and mom split up?"  Very clearly he stated and I can remember this to this day, "Because your mother cannot keep house to save her life."  Well, having lived with the barnacle, I knew he wasn't lying.  There was more to the story than that, but that's the nutshell version.

He asked about The Wonder One, I bragged about what a wonderful man he was.  My dad replied, "Well that's good, it's a good thing you've got a good man and that you've got a good head on your shoulders, because, well, let's face it, you're not the prettiest gal in the world."  Yep, he was looking at my wedding pictures that I had sent him.  There were not words to tell you how gutted and devastated I was to hear these words come out of his mouth.

For every girl growing up, it's a pretty much drawn conclusion that the first man she falls in love with (if he's in the picture that is) is her father.  To hear such a criticism come from the one person you place on such a lofty pedestal...well, to say the least, it brings everything you thought you knew about yourself crashing down around you.  I'm realistic, I know I'm never going to compete for some cover of a magazine and win, but I'm also not ugly enough to scare some troll out from under his bridge either.  So to hear something like that from the one person who is supposed to love you unconditionally is gut wrenching.

That's why songs from Christina Aguilera (Beautiful) and Pink (F'in Perfect) hit so close to home for me.  It's hard to hear that you aren't these things without it becoming ingrained and you start to believe it.  Some things have to be unlearned.  Sometimes you need the help of people who don't even know you exsist, just so that you can.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Blasting in my ears right now...

Another one of those songs that gets stuck in your head that just doesn't leave until you get to sweat it out from your playlist..

For some reason the songs that really motivate me to sweat are the ones that are truly a blast from my past and usually the ones that are from the 80's and the one's that we danced our butts off at the club.  Don't judge, just have fun and dance!

Everyone has to have their tunes to bounce to...

What's yours?

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Something new...

Something new I'd like to bring to you as I'm wandering this path of trying to eat healthier and lose weight.

As we all have our weakness when losing weight, we need to learn how to work around them.  For some of us it's sweets, others it's carbs, yet for others it's salt.  For me, depending on what time of the month it is *ahem* it could end up being a mixture of all of the previously mentioned.

So my goal in all of this is to try different products that are advertised and break them down for you and share with you my personal take on the product.  How it'll fit in with the food plan I'm  utilizing (Weight Watchers Points Plus) and different break downs from there.

Today's Product

Temptations by Jell-O
Strawberry Cheesecake

After having seen the commercials for these desserts, I'd been stalking my local grocers rather impatiently waiting to have a taste.  I just had to try it!!  Considering they are advertising them all to be at or below 150 calories per serving (a serving is a cup/container) and Strawberry Cheesecake once input into my WWPP calculator spat back out to me that it was 4 points.

Hmmm...4 points.  I can live with that.  That's a snack I could do before I go to bed even.  Since my last sugar crash I try to have a modest snack (5 points or less) so that I don't have any further issues.  Between that and the doctor lowering my insulin, my morning insulin has been on average now about 100 - 105 which is pretty darn near perfect!  I will be taking it!  As a matter of fact my last A1C was 6.7 which I can't ask for better.  So truly, if the weight isn't dropping like I like, my labs and sugar levels are coming in line exactly where I need it to be and that is just as important if not more so.

After all this is about getting healthy and staying sane. 

Getting back to staying sane...

This Strawberry Cheesecake to. die. for!  It doesn't have that thick creamy guilty I'm going to pay for this stick to the roof of your mouth texture that normal cling to your hips cheesecake has, this is more fluffy, the strawberry topping keeping it thick and gooey.  I will say it is not sugar free, I believe what keeps it from being so high in fat is that it is made with skim milk (see list of ingredients). 

All I can say is this, if you are looking for a low calorie snack or a dessert substitute that doesn't feel like a substitute, that has a nice mouth feel so that you won't feel like you're missing out  on anything and like you're "dieting" I can honestly say, give this a try, it's well worth it.  As a matter of fact, it's going to be nice to work my way through the different selections to see which I like best to take with me to holiday dinners.  (Yes, I'm one of those people who likes to plan ahead.)

Oh yeah, before I forget, the commercial that influenced the decision to try this product.

Just be sure to read over the label to ensure it doesn't interfere with any allergies you may have.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

It's Wednesday...

This week past wasn't in my opinion a good one.

"Why Chubby Butt?"  You may be wondering.  Well, I'm here to tell you.

There is a bit of self loathing going on.  Mainly from the fact that I found and fell in love with Voortman's Sugar Free cookies!  Oh Em Gee!!!  They are so very yummy, but I had to come to the realization that just because they are sugar free does NOT mean they are calorie free. The two that made me the happiest are the Sugar Free Peanut Butter Wafer and the Sugar Free Fudgydelicious Wafer.  They are quite yummy.  Satisfied my sweet tooth.  Perhaps too well.  Hmmm...

So, this week, I didn't have a loss.


I didn't have a gain either!

So this is a good thing.

Hey, we'll take it where we can get it.


So........onto learning our lesson for this week and living and learning and forgiving and moving forward.

Here's to new beginnings and the new week!

Hugs and toodles!

Monday, September 12, 2011

A new sort of motivation...

So tonight The Wonder One and I went on our trail hike out at Battelle and then when we got back to the car I told him "Since we're here and that was basically a warm up for you, why don't you go and do your run for the night, I can busy myself at the car."

I didn't have to twist his arm much.  He was off like his hair was on fire.  Blazing his way down the trail to go farther down than what we had.  He cam back thirty minutes later with some interesting news.

"Remember where we turned around?" He asked me.  "Mmm" I murmured in reply.  "Well, I ran about seven minutes down the trail past there and you will never believe what is out in the fields there." he's still trying to get my attention but I'm preoccupied with whatever it was I was doing.  "Bison" he states clearly.


Keep in mind that we live in Central Ohio.  We're not out in the open prairie mind you, but we're in a fairly citified (well, not exactly where we are at when we're at Battelle, but you get my meaning when I say Central Ohio at least) area.  We're the 15th largest city in the country.  That's kinda sorta impressive.  At least to me it is.  We've got BUFFALO roaming in my freaking (basically) backyard!!!

So I had to stop what I was doing to give him my full on attention. 

We made plans to do our usual training walk on Wednesday.  However we're taking our bikes with us. So we can give them a whirl.

So yeah, my goal now is to walk to where they roam......yeah yeah go ahead and sing it, you know you want to....because I'm sure there are some deer out there too....because that to me sounds so freaking cool.

But until then, I'll continue on my training plan, The Wonder One will be pulling my bike out so we can go riding on the trails out at Battelle and I'll go ride out to where they are.  My fat ass hasn't been on a bike in YEARS.  This should prove to be interesting.  Not to mention dangerous.

Don't worry, I'll be sure to get pictures.  Thank God our insurance is up-to-date.

Funny Monday

(I don't own the rights to this, stumbled onto it while surfing the web, I would love to give credit to who does own it but I don't know.)

Isn't that the truth!

*Cue Gene Autry*

To avoid the emotional turmoil and tears of the day yesterday, The Wonder One and I spent the day out running errands going here and there getting things done.  One of the things we did do and I quite enjoyed was that we went to Battelle Darby Creek Park where they have some of the nicest trails around that are suitable for nearly everyone you can imagine and then some!

We figured there were a lot of people trying to do what we were doing (avoiding the television and the ensuing emotions that went with the day) because the park was swarming with families!  Yet it was never truly crowded nor did you feel like you were tripping over the person next to you.

It was only at the end of our excursion when I stopped suddenly trying to figure out where we parked when I was knocked into by a lady not paying attention to what was going on around her and she was right up behind me just a might bit to close.  Reminded me of a bumper sticker I saw earlier in the day ~~ "If your going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair while you do it!"  So instead of getting upset at getting run over by the obnoxious woman, I just laughed.  Of course she thought I was nuts.  I thought,  "that's okay lady, go ahead and think I'm nuts, better to think that, because if I were pissed, you'd be limping!"

So yeah, I'm back in the saddle again.  I'm liking being outside right now, because it's not blistering hot like it was a few weeks ago.  I want to do this until I have to go back into the gym due to bad weather I've decided.  I've also decided to take a cue from The Darby One and take my camera with me too.  So given time, you'll be able to see what I see and I can take you with me on my workouts.

This should be fun!

Let us pray...

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Here's a first...

Well, I had my first interview for a new job the other day and it went well.  Very pleased about that.  Looks to be that I may have a second.  So I wanted to be prepared to have a second interview.  It was just a matter of "what in the hell do I wear?"

Everything I own is either out of date or to big.  Or the clothing I would find appropriate I got rid of when I left banking. Shit.  Now what?  Because then I'm left with clothes that are too casual or just to darned big.  I don't want to go to an interview dressed to casually or sloppy.  That's just not the message I want to send to the interviewer (my potentially new boss).  So I grabbed Queenie and we decided to kill time while waiting for the Wonder One and his brother (Queenie's husband) to get back from vacation (we were picking them up from the airport) and we went to Easton to go to Lane Bryant to take a look around to try to find something to work with what I already have to expand my wardrobe a bit.  Even though I've gone down a size I'm still shaped like an upside down light bulb (dammit) so when putting on pants to fit my hips and butt, the waist is huge and you can see my undies.  I totally hate that.  I didn't want to try a skirt or a dress because I didn't want to have go through the wrestling match that would ensue of having to put on pantyhose.  If I wear a dress or skirt I try to style it so that I can wear it with my riding boots that are knee high.  So then I end up wearing leggings under the skirt/dress/boots. 

So I stopped frustrating myself and started trying on sweaters.  While trying on sweaters, Queenie handed me a sweater in a different color, unbeknownst to me at the time in a smaller size.  Yep, as you guessed it, the smaller size fit!  Woohoo! 

Queenie is always doing that.  She is the only one who sees where I've lost the weight.  When I can't see it, she does.  So she is the one who will grab the smaller size and thrust it in my hand for me to try it on. 

I have to say, I am ever so grateful to have her in my life!

Friday, September 9, 2011

Blasting in my ears right now...

This song was featured in an episode of of NCIS (a favorite show of mine) and I loved it so (the song, obviously I love the show, lol) I managed to find out more about the song.  I love the song because of it's beat and groove.  When I found out the story behind it, it touched me even more so.  Lyrics to follow.


 Then to keep it moving a bit old school with a bit of fun is a bit of MC Hammer...

Now as for the first on the play list... Bella Bellissima...

It was shown on NCIS and it was in Hebrew, the groove is smooth and the song is hypnotic.  Personally I love songs that tell a story.  That have a history to them.  It is after all how many cultures pass along their histories.  So it's of my opinion that songs like this are important.  After all if we don't learn from our history, we're doomed to repeat it.

Isn't that what I'm doing this blogging thing for?  So that I don't repeat the errors of my past?

This is a story worth educating children with

Tuesday, 12th May, 1992
A woman steps out of her house in Jerusalem
Normal standard day
nothing special like any other day
A load of kids in the streets –
there was a teachers’ strike
Same time exactly a revolting terrorist
Pulls out a kitchen knife
and with it stabs two innocent kids
Another mad cruel attack
Another nationalist attack

He sets off running
because a mob is in pursuit
And catches him after a few seconds
in the carpark
tens of people kicking him –
they want to close the score
I don’t judge them,
it’s an irrational event
It’s a flawed situation,
awful, revolting, unclear
But then turns up the woman
and alters the end of the story
because she straight off throws herself
on the terrorist andprotects with her body
the terrorist who is also a human
though without her body
would have ended up a corpse
"I don’t understand,
weren’t you afraid
with that madman beneath you
and the mob so close?
"Wouldn’t it have been easier
to get up and leave?"
She replied to the journalist
that she didn’t have time to think.
She replied to the journalist
that she didn’t have time to think.

Bella bellissima...

That incident with the woman
is engraved in my head
Where did she get the strength to lie there
without moving, without fear
I ask myself what I would have done in her place
If at the same moment I had been in the area
It’s clear to me
that I wouldn’t have gone over to boot him
But to be fair and to tell the truth
I don’t think I would have been capable
of behaving like her
Much more typical for me to get up and run away
Or at the most to try
to find a policeman or something
But she lay there until her strength waned
20 minutes she took all those kicks
Her kids watched and didn’t stop crying.

Bella Bellissima…...

This lady did not turn into a symbol
And in effect her name
has been erased from consciousness.
There is no stamp with her face
Perhaps because Israel is not yet ready
and is not willing
To bring to its breast a hero
whose heroism is not war-like, a hero
whose heroism is not military, a hero
whose heroism is just moral
a hero who is a woman, and a haredit at that.

Know this, dear woman, that I did not forget
The story of your heroism I promised to myself
That this story is worth educating children with
It’s a story that is worth
educating children with

Bella Bellissima...

The song was featured on NCIS Season Five Episode 3 "Ex-File" Buy Hadag Nachash CDs

Words transliterated and translated by George Jakubovits of Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Translation adapted from an original listing on the Jewish Agency' website