Wednesday, September 28, 2011

It's Wednesday...

So today, The Wonder One and I both weighed in.

Today he hit his goal!  I'm so proud of him!  He's lost 50 pounds!

Today I'm a loser...just glad I can say that lol.

Lost a 1.5 this week to take me to 258.  Still trying to get to that elusive 257.4 which is my 2nd goal to hit my 10% goal.  My next goal once I hit this one will be 222 pounds. 

You may be thinking "But Chubby Butt, why 222?  I mean it's a cute number and all, but kinda odd don'tcha think?"

Nah, I'll explain why.

222 pounds is what I weighed before I got pregnant.  It was the last number I remember weighing as an adult.  Before that, I don't really have any sort of recollection of what my weight was.  So with 222 being weight goal number 3, weight goal number four will be to break 200.  Once I hit 199, I honestly have no idea what my goal weight will be after that.

At 5'6" my understanding is that I should be 130 pounds, 100 for the first 5 feet and 5 pounds for every inch after that.  So I dunno.  We'll have to wait and see how it goes.

Here's to crossed fingers and 0.6 of a pound!

Hugs and Toodles

Friday, September 23, 2011

Blasting in my ears right now...

Pounding it out on the treadmill or on the trails...

To keep the groove moving it along...

By the time you've walked/bounced your way through these two groovin' tracks if you're not sweatin' something off, then I think you should be checked for a pulse!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

It's Wednesday...(yeah I know it's Thursday...)

I didn't get around to doing my post yesterday because well......

I was dragging my feet in having to admit that I wasn't a big loser.

<insert sad face here>

I gained 2 pounds.  The perplexing thing in it is that I don't know how it is that I gained the 2 pounds.  Well, that's not exactly true.  I can surmise that it's due in part that I didn't get out to exercise like I usually do.  As well it was that time of the month and The Wonder One in a generous act of compassion brought home a fistful of chocolate.  Which did not survive the beat down I gave it.

Actually it did, but only by like, I'd say, 3.2 seconds.

Otherwise, it was a good week, so to see those numbers pop up is kind of disheartening.  Knowing I'm so close to my 10% goal and have it feel sooooooo far away is maddening.

The one good thing in all of this is that the slate is wiped clean and a new week can begin again.

Here's to new weeks!

Thursday Review...

This Week's Product
(It's new at least to me)

As is usually the case, at least for me, when I find something I like, I stick with it.  Which then leads to a rut.  Which I find usually leads me to a slowing down of my weight loss.  So I thought I would mix things up a bit when it comes to my morning routine.  

One day last week I went to pick up The Wonder One from work and we stopped off at the local bread store to pick up a few things, as we were wandering about (more accurate to say, as I was wandering about, as I'd not been there in years....he can get in and out of there in less than 60 seconds, lol), I noticed this cereal sitting on the shelf and with the cold weather fast approaching, it sounded like it might be good for a change.

Now to say this first and foremost, anyone who knows me, knows I do not, repeat, do NOT eat breakfast.  Let alone cereal.  So this is groundbreaking.  Or breaking new ground for me, either way, as it would be, I think it was the apples and cinnamon that really caught my eye.  

Damn my eyes!

I say that because they were blinded to the big red banner that said FLAX SEED!!  Uhhhh yeah.  It's not pretty.  I do have to say, I am one of those people that eats food based on texture, so if it's got a wonky texture, I am so not in it.  I will have to give it another try, maybe put in a bit of milk to thin it out a bit, because if you let it sit for any longer than a nano second, then you have your mortar to repairing your retaining wall in your basement.  You'll never have to fear about any flooding in your basement again!  My first bowl full I could only eat half of it.  It just got to hard to eat the other half.  Not that I didn't want to.  Well, I didn't, but it was because I was afraid I'd chip a tooth.

So my lesson learned is to eat fast, not to dilly dally while eating and do NOT let this stuff cool off in the slightest, to do so is to surely bring peril upon a molar.  Maybe I'll add a dash of milk next time.  And a packet of Equal?  Didn't have much flavor to speak of either.  Smelled good out of the bag, but not when the spoon was coming to your mouth.

There is something to be said for nose and tastebud appeal.

For those with nut allergies and you still want to give this a whirl, because it is good for you in the heart healthy sense.  I'm afraid it's got every possible nut in it.  It is an all natural product (probably why it has the issues it does and why I'm not used to it, hey! My first all natural product!  YaY! I did eat half of it at least, so that's saying something!) So I would say stay away from it at all costs.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Funny Monday

May my small gains never be this bad!

Filling in some gaps...(a family history lesson)


This post is of a very personal nature.  If you feel you cannot handle it, please feel free to move on and there'll be no hard feelings.  Of this I promise.  However, please note, this is why comments are monitored/screened before being posted.  Any one that feels the need to be hateful or hurtful in leaving their comments they can just go ahead and click the little red x up at the top right hand side of your screen now.

Thank you.

Yesterdays post was to explain some of my self loathing.  How it came to be that I let food be my source of comfort.  How it is now that I have to look at it as a means to fuel my body and to some extent as a poison.  Given what it can do to me, food isn't always a good thing, what it has done to my health and where I'm trying to recover from it is a long arduous process. 

It's only now that as an adult I can look back and see where a lot of my poor eating habits began.  I'm not blaming any one person.  After all, no one held the fork to my mouth and the gun to my head.  It's with open eyes and a clear head and a mended heart I can look back on all the self destruction and see where I fell short and did so much damage to myself in an effort to soothe a broken soul.

When you're 7, 8 years old and moving into a new neighborhood and you're the new kid on the block and don't know anyone, you are the kid that is going to walk around with that bulls eye on your back.  I didn't know I had it there, but it was there none the less.  (Due to all the moving and evictions/homelessness, there are few pictures of me at this age but I'm certain I don't look much different than the picture I posted yesterday, where I'm approximately 4 or 5 years old)  As you can see, I was a normal kid.  Maybe even a wee bit on the scrawny side.  At that time, it was about the time my parents had just split up, the barnacle living on her own for the first time in her life.  She'd gone from her parents house to the Army to her first husband's home then to be divorced, then to live with my dad, and now, here we are.  At 32/33 years old, she had no clue what she was doing.  (Probably explains why now at 71, she acts the way she does.)  It was then that I started spending the weekends with my grandparents who were the barnacles mother and step-father.  That's when I learned a different means to showing you loved someone. 

Grandma would fix dinner and if there were just the slightest little bit left over, "oh you get that last little bit and eat it so I don't have to wrap it up and put it in the fridge" was usually what I would hear.  Every meal, every time.  If she made something that I refused to eat, instead of me going hungry (which let's face it, most kids wouldn't hurt them to learn to suffer through a meal or two...after all liver is so good for you) my grandmother would go to KFC for my dinner.  There were only two meals I refused to eat, liver & onions and beans & ham hocks (with them being "country folk" they ate it a lot) .   **please ignore any gagging sounds you may hear**

While grandma was showing me she loved me, her second husband was too.  Since they had gotten married many many years before I was born, he'd always been there.  He was always my "grandfather".  It was, what it was.  It wasn't until I was about 12 or so when I realized that grandpa's just aren't supposed to show they love their granddaughters they love them like that.  I stood up to him and that was the end of it.  Grandma caught him once, beat the ever loving shit out of him.  Yet she never left him for it.  She was of that generation where you stood by your man no matter what.

Many years later I confronted both of them.  In their way they both sought forgiveness.  I forgave.

If I hadn't, wouldn't I be no better than him when he was committing his sin?

When my father came back into the picture and stirred up the self loathing just a bit more, at that time I didn't know or realize that I even was capable of loathing myself, I just took it for what it was.  Just one more way that the men in my life told me they cared about me.  The Wonder One was the exception to that rule.  Thankfully.  I'd probably be insane by now otherwise, lol.  That's one of the reasons he is my Wonder One, in spite of all of this, he loves me anyway.

I did get to spend time with my father and get to know him some.  When I wanted to go to nursing school he told someone "I don't know why she's pursuing this, she never finishes what she starts."   I did have to drop out of nursing school the first time around because he died.  He died from a massive heart attack two days before my birthday, a week into school. Funny part in all this is, I didn't know he said that until graduation day when I went back and finished nursing school the second time around.  At my commencement ceremony I took part and gave a speech about the lighting of the lamp of knowledge and Florence Nightingale. 

My only regret was that he wasn't there to see me finish.

That's why all of this is so important to me, getting the weight off (so I can get healthy...he was 52 when he died, I'm only 45 I don't want to go out that way), figuring out how and why I got to be this big...get rid of the mental baggage as it were so that I won't put the weight back on (hence the blog)....and hopefully in the end, if I can help someone else through my process with theirs, then I've done my job not once, but twice.

I share this with you, not because it's some sort of big deal, because it's not, there are people who've been through worse, but because you too may have been through your share of shit and think that you're the only one.  I'm here to tell you, you aren't.  The one thing I've had to learn in all this is to let it all go and stay in the past instead of follow me about and hang on my neck like a huge weight.  If I don't shed this self loathing and guilt for self perceived things I've done wrong, when will I be able to get things right?  At some point it's all got to go.

Right now, oddly enough, I've got to go, I've got to go eat, I've spent the morning writing this and now I'm starving!

Talk soon!

Hugs & Toodles

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Filling in some gaps...(a family history lesson)


 This post is of a very personal nature.  If you feel you cannot handle it, please feel free to move on and there'll be no hard feelings.  Of this I promise.  However, please note, this is why comments are monitored/screened before being posted.  Any one that feels the need to be hateful or hurtful in leaving their comments they can just go ahead and click the little red x up at the top right hand side of your screen now. 

Thank you.

A while back while posting a playlist I made mention that I would explain why it is that I loved certain songs (specifically those that speak of empowerment, particularly female empowerment), at that time, I said that I'd explain later.  I think now is later and is a good time to go into why I take those sorts of songs rather personally.

When I was a kid my parents got divorced when I was 6 or so.  My father disappeared when I was nearly 8.  Over the years I made many attempts to try and find him, always getting close, yet never close enough.  When I'd ask the barnacle why it was they got divorced, she'd tell me "he got my best friend pregnant and he had to marry her."  Keep in mind this was back in the early 70's, a time when divorce wasn't as commonplace as it is today.  Even still to a 9 year old, this didn't make much sense.  He had me, why would he just up and leave me?  I could never figure it out.  I was daddy's little girl.  I only have one picture of us as a family and even at that my older cousin is in it.  I don't talk much to her unfortunately, she's basically on the other side of the country and at that we've hardly a thing in common.  Yet we've a few family pictures we're in.

Dad, Me, The Barnacle & Cousin

I'm the little one that's got the "chicken legs" as my dad would say, lol.  So going on, growing up with the barnacle, yes that's her in the photo above.  The 1.0 version of her.  I dare not post a 2.0 version, firstly I don't think I have a current photo and lastly I don't think your monitor would be wide enough for the image.

Anyway, moving on, she would tell me that he got my step-monster pregnant and that's why he took off, so I promised myself...."Self, if ever you meet up with your Dad again, find out why he left". 

That's just what I did.

I always said that if ever my Dad wanted to try and find me he would and how he would do it if he were a smart man would be to send a letter to my grandmother (the barnacle's mother) and she'd forward it to me.  Which is exactly what he did.

I got that letter 3 weeks before my 25th birthday.  I sent him a letter overnight postal to call me, collect if need be, the number and photos of my wedding day.

The Wonder One and Me (age 23)

I got the letter on a Friday, sent it out that very day and he got it on a Saturday, called me that afternoon from California.  We talked for quite a while.  First thing I asked him that I promised myself that I would, oh so many years before..."Why did you and mom split up?"  Very clearly he stated and I can remember this to this day, "Because your mother cannot keep house to save her life."  Well, having lived with the barnacle, I knew he wasn't lying.  There was more to the story than that, but that's the nutshell version.

He asked about The Wonder One, I bragged about what a wonderful man he was.  My dad replied, "Well that's good, it's a good thing you've got a good man and that you've got a good head on your shoulders, because, well, let's face it, you're not the prettiest gal in the world."  Yep, he was looking at my wedding pictures that I had sent him.  There were not words to tell you how gutted and devastated I was to hear these words come out of his mouth.

For every girl growing up, it's a pretty much drawn conclusion that the first man she falls in love with (if he's in the picture that is) is her father.  To hear such a criticism come from the one person you place on such a lofty pedestal...well, to say the least, it brings everything you thought you knew about yourself crashing down around you.  I'm realistic, I know I'm never going to compete for some cover of a magazine and win, but I'm also not ugly enough to scare some troll out from under his bridge either.  So to hear something like that from the one person who is supposed to love you unconditionally is gut wrenching.

That's why songs from Christina Aguilera (Beautiful) and Pink (F'in Perfect) hit so close to home for me.  It's hard to hear that you aren't these things without it becoming ingrained and you start to believe it.  Some things have to be unlearned.  Sometimes you need the help of people who don't even know you exsist, just so that you can.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Blasting in my ears right now...

Another one of those songs that gets stuck in your head that just doesn't leave until you get to sweat it out from your playlist..

For some reason the songs that really motivate me to sweat are the ones that are truly a blast from my past and usually the ones that are from the 80's and the one's that we danced our butts off at the club.  Don't judge, just have fun and dance!

Everyone has to have their tunes to bounce to...

What's yours?

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Something new...

Something new I'd like to bring to you as I'm wandering this path of trying to eat healthier and lose weight.

As we all have our weakness when losing weight, we need to learn how to work around them.  For some of us it's sweets, others it's carbs, yet for others it's salt.  For me, depending on what time of the month it is *ahem* it could end up being a mixture of all of the previously mentioned.

So my goal in all of this is to try different products that are advertised and break them down for you and share with you my personal take on the product.  How it'll fit in with the food plan I'm  utilizing (Weight Watchers Points Plus) and different break downs from there.

Today's Product

Temptations by Jell-O
Strawberry Cheesecake

After having seen the commercials for these desserts, I'd been stalking my local grocers rather impatiently waiting to have a taste.  I just had to try it!!  Considering they are advertising them all to be at or below 150 calories per serving (a serving is a cup/container) and Strawberry Cheesecake once input into my WWPP calculator spat back out to me that it was 4 points.

Hmmm...4 points.  I can live with that.  That's a snack I could do before I go to bed even.  Since my last sugar crash I try to have a modest snack (5 points or less) so that I don't have any further issues.  Between that and the doctor lowering my insulin, my morning insulin has been on average now about 100 - 105 which is pretty darn near perfect!  I will be taking it!  As a matter of fact my last A1C was 6.7 which I can't ask for better.  So truly, if the weight isn't dropping like I like, my labs and sugar levels are coming in line exactly where I need it to be and that is just as important if not more so.

After all this is about getting healthy and staying sane. 

Getting back to staying sane...

This Strawberry Cheesecake to. die. for!  It doesn't have that thick creamy guilty I'm going to pay for this stick to the roof of your mouth texture that normal cling to your hips cheesecake has, this is more fluffy, the strawberry topping keeping it thick and gooey.  I will say it is not sugar free, I believe what keeps it from being so high in fat is that it is made with skim milk (see list of ingredients). 

All I can say is this, if you are looking for a low calorie snack or a dessert substitute that doesn't feel like a substitute, that has a nice mouth feel so that you won't feel like you're missing out  on anything and like you're "dieting" I can honestly say, give this a try, it's well worth it.  As a matter of fact, it's going to be nice to work my way through the different selections to see which I like best to take with me to holiday dinners.  (Yes, I'm one of those people who likes to plan ahead.)

Oh yeah, before I forget, the commercial that influenced the decision to try this product.

Just be sure to read over the label to ensure it doesn't interfere with any allergies you may have.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

It's Wednesday...

This week past wasn't in my opinion a good one.

"Why Chubby Butt?"  You may be wondering.  Well, I'm here to tell you.

There is a bit of self loathing going on.  Mainly from the fact that I found and fell in love with Voortman's Sugar Free cookies!  Oh Em Gee!!!  They are so very yummy, but I had to come to the realization that just because they are sugar free does NOT mean they are calorie free. The two that made me the happiest are the Sugar Free Peanut Butter Wafer and the Sugar Free Fudgydelicious Wafer.  They are quite yummy.  Satisfied my sweet tooth.  Perhaps too well.  Hmmm...

So, this week, I didn't have a loss.


I didn't have a gain either!

So this is a good thing.

Hey, we'll take it where we can get it.


So........onto learning our lesson for this week and living and learning and forgiving and moving forward.

Here's to new beginnings and the new week!

Hugs and toodles!

Monday, September 12, 2011

A new sort of motivation...

So tonight The Wonder One and I went on our trail hike out at Battelle and then when we got back to the car I told him "Since we're here and that was basically a warm up for you, why don't you go and do your run for the night, I can busy myself at the car."

I didn't have to twist his arm much.  He was off like his hair was on fire.  Blazing his way down the trail to go farther down than what we had.  He cam back thirty minutes later with some interesting news.

"Remember where we turned around?" He asked me.  "Mmm" I murmured in reply.  "Well, I ran about seven minutes down the trail past there and you will never believe what is out in the fields there." he's still trying to get my attention but I'm preoccupied with whatever it was I was doing.  "Bison" he states clearly.


Keep in mind that we live in Central Ohio.  We're not out in the open prairie mind you, but we're in a fairly citified (well, not exactly where we are at when we're at Battelle, but you get my meaning when I say Central Ohio at least) area.  We're the 15th largest city in the country.  That's kinda sorta impressive.  At least to me it is.  We've got BUFFALO roaming in my freaking (basically) backyard!!!

So I had to stop what I was doing to give him my full on attention. 

We made plans to do our usual training walk on Wednesday.  However we're taking our bikes with us. So we can give them a whirl.

So yeah, my goal now is to walk to where they roam......yeah yeah go ahead and sing it, you know you want to....because I'm sure there are some deer out there too....because that to me sounds so freaking cool.

But until then, I'll continue on my training plan, The Wonder One will be pulling my bike out so we can go riding on the trails out at Battelle and I'll go ride out to where they are.  My fat ass hasn't been on a bike in YEARS.  This should prove to be interesting.  Not to mention dangerous.

Don't worry, I'll be sure to get pictures.  Thank God our insurance is up-to-date.

Funny Monday

(I don't own the rights to this, stumbled onto it while surfing the web, I would love to give credit to who does own it but I don't know.)

Isn't that the truth!

*Cue Gene Autry*

To avoid the emotional turmoil and tears of the day yesterday, The Wonder One and I spent the day out running errands going here and there getting things done.  One of the things we did do and I quite enjoyed was that we went to Battelle Darby Creek Park where they have some of the nicest trails around that are suitable for nearly everyone you can imagine and then some!

We figured there were a lot of people trying to do what we were doing (avoiding the television and the ensuing emotions that went with the day) because the park was swarming with families!  Yet it was never truly crowded nor did you feel like you were tripping over the person next to you.

It was only at the end of our excursion when I stopped suddenly trying to figure out where we parked when I was knocked into by a lady not paying attention to what was going on around her and she was right up behind me just a might bit to close.  Reminded me of a bumper sticker I saw earlier in the day ~~ "If your going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair while you do it!"  So instead of getting upset at getting run over by the obnoxious woman, I just laughed.  Of course she thought I was nuts.  I thought,  "that's okay lady, go ahead and think I'm nuts, better to think that, because if I were pissed, you'd be limping!"

So yeah, I'm back in the saddle again.  I'm liking being outside right now, because it's not blistering hot like it was a few weeks ago.  I want to do this until I have to go back into the gym due to bad weather I've decided.  I've also decided to take a cue from The Darby One and take my camera with me too.  So given time, you'll be able to see what I see and I can take you with me on my workouts.

This should be fun!

Let us pray...

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Here's a first...

Well, I had my first interview for a new job the other day and it went well.  Very pleased about that.  Looks to be that I may have a second.  So I wanted to be prepared to have a second interview.  It was just a matter of "what in the hell do I wear?"

Everything I own is either out of date or to big.  Or the clothing I would find appropriate I got rid of when I left banking. Shit.  Now what?  Because then I'm left with clothes that are too casual or just to darned big.  I don't want to go to an interview dressed to casually or sloppy.  That's just not the message I want to send to the interviewer (my potentially new boss).  So I grabbed Queenie and we decided to kill time while waiting for the Wonder One and his brother (Queenie's husband) to get back from vacation (we were picking them up from the airport) and we went to Easton to go to Lane Bryant to take a look around to try to find something to work with what I already have to expand my wardrobe a bit.  Even though I've gone down a size I'm still shaped like an upside down light bulb (dammit) so when putting on pants to fit my hips and butt, the waist is huge and you can see my undies.  I totally hate that.  I didn't want to try a skirt or a dress because I didn't want to have go through the wrestling match that would ensue of having to put on pantyhose.  If I wear a dress or skirt I try to style it so that I can wear it with my riding boots that are knee high.  So then I end up wearing leggings under the skirt/dress/boots. 

So I stopped frustrating myself and started trying on sweaters.  While trying on sweaters, Queenie handed me a sweater in a different color, unbeknownst to me at the time in a smaller size.  Yep, as you guessed it, the smaller size fit!  Woohoo! 

Queenie is always doing that.  She is the only one who sees where I've lost the weight.  When I can't see it, she does.  So she is the one who will grab the smaller size and thrust it in my hand for me to try it on. 

I have to say, I am ever so grateful to have her in my life!

Friday, September 9, 2011

Blasting in my ears right now...

This song was featured in an episode of of NCIS (a favorite show of mine) and I loved it so (the song, obviously I love the show, lol) I managed to find out more about the song.  I love the song because of it's beat and groove.  When I found out the story behind it, it touched me even more so.  Lyrics to follow.


 Then to keep it moving a bit old school with a bit of fun is a bit of MC Hammer...

Now as for the first on the play list... Bella Bellissima...

It was shown on NCIS and it was in Hebrew, the groove is smooth and the song is hypnotic.  Personally I love songs that tell a story.  That have a history to them.  It is after all how many cultures pass along their histories.  So it's of my opinion that songs like this are important.  After all if we don't learn from our history, we're doomed to repeat it.

Isn't that what I'm doing this blogging thing for?  So that I don't repeat the errors of my past?

This is a story worth educating children with

Tuesday, 12th May, 1992
A woman steps out of her house in Jerusalem
Normal standard day
nothing special like any other day
A load of kids in the streets –
there was a teachers’ strike
Same time exactly a revolting terrorist
Pulls out a kitchen knife
and with it stabs two innocent kids
Another mad cruel attack
Another nationalist attack

He sets off running
because a mob is in pursuit
And catches him after a few seconds
in the carpark
tens of people kicking him –
they want to close the score
I don’t judge them,
it’s an irrational event
It’s a flawed situation,
awful, revolting, unclear
But then turns up the woman
and alters the end of the story
because she straight off throws herself
on the terrorist andprotects with her body
the terrorist who is also a human
though without her body
would have ended up a corpse
"I don’t understand,
weren’t you afraid
with that madman beneath you
and the mob so close?
"Wouldn’t it have been easier
to get up and leave?"
She replied to the journalist
that she didn’t have time to think.
She replied to the journalist
that she didn’t have time to think.

Bella bellissima...

That incident with the woman
is engraved in my head
Where did she get the strength to lie there
without moving, without fear
I ask myself what I would have done in her place
If at the same moment I had been in the area
It’s clear to me
that I wouldn’t have gone over to boot him
But to be fair and to tell the truth
I don’t think I would have been capable
of behaving like her
Much more typical for me to get up and run away
Or at the most to try
to find a policeman or something
But she lay there until her strength waned
20 minutes she took all those kicks
Her kids watched and didn’t stop crying.

Bella Bellissima…...

This lady did not turn into a symbol
And in effect her name
has been erased from consciousness.
There is no stamp with her face
Perhaps because Israel is not yet ready
and is not willing
To bring to its breast a hero
whose heroism is not war-like, a hero
whose heroism is not military, a hero
whose heroism is just moral
a hero who is a woman, and a haredit at that.

Know this, dear woman, that I did not forget
The story of your heroism I promised to myself
That this story is worth educating children with
It’s a story that is worth
educating children with

Bella Bellissima...

The song was featured on NCIS Season Five Episode 3 "Ex-File" Buy Hadag Nachash CDs

Words transliterated and translated by George Jakubovits of Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Translation adapted from an original listing on the Jewish Agency' website

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

It's Wednesday...

So last week when I went to the doctor's office I realized just how pitiful my scale at home was and just how inadequate it was in meeting my needs in checking my weight. 

How you may be wondering?

Well, at the doctor's office, their scale HAS to be accurate because that scale is used in gathering important health information on dozens of patients on a daily basis and it has to be accurate, so the doc maintains it however often he does I'm sure, or else HE would be lax in his job as my health care provider.  Given that I trust him and have for decades now with the  healthcare of not just me but the Wonder One, I'll just take it for granted that he's doing his job and maintaining his equipment, or else we'd have be having a discussion of a very different nature I'm certain.

My scale just is pitiful.  Period.  When I weighed in to see what it said, it said I weighed the same.  Yet when I went over to the doc's office, his scale said I'd lost 2 pounds!  So, I'm going to be going with the doc's scales from now on.  I got permission and they are okay with it.  Personally, I think it's their way of keeping an eye on me and seeing how I'm doing, lol, sneaky little buggers.

So as it stands, according to the doc's scale I am a big fat loser!  257.5 just a tenth of a pound from where I need to be to hit 10 percent of my body fat lost in total!  Which means I'm down a total from last week 6 pounds!!  But I'm not sure how much of it is switching from one scale to the other or actual weight loss.  I know given what I weighed last week according to the docs scale and what I weigh this week, it's a good thing and I'm making progress.  I'm very excited by it all and look forward to next week and see what it brings.  Given that the emotional turmoil of last week and the Wonder One will be back from vacation tomorrow night (YaY!), I'll no longer be wandering around the house feeling so lonesome. 

Those two things combined make for a miserable feeling...

Sunday, September 4, 2011

World of chaos...

A week ago yesterday I left my workplace to go out to my car and found that it had been broken into, not just broken into but as well vandalized.  Not just vandalized, my dash was sitting in the drivers seat!

It's taken me till now to be able to process this past week and put it all into words.  To be able to get it all out and share with you.  Not just the feelings of being violated that was brought on by my car being broken into and the ensuing theft, but the downhill snowball effect that built up that started in that moment.

I actually had to drag the cop out of his cruiser when he showed up!  Yep, you read that right.  When he arrived on scene he asked why it was I called.  I told him "Well, Sir, you're gonna hafta get outta your cruiser to see this in order to appreciate it."  Granted, it took him a minute to wiggle his big ole gut out from behind the wheel of the car, but needless to say, he was mighty well impressed with the handiwork of the robbers.

Thankfully the Wonder One can fix it.  Thankfully the employer will reimburse for parts so that it CAN be fixed.  As well they should given that it was sitting right under a cctv.  Yep,  you read that correctly.  As far as I'm aware and know it doesn't work either.  More on this in a minute.

So that is on Saturday morning. 

I decided to start putting in applications in at various employers around town on Monday.

I get a call from the Wonder One on Tuesday afternoon when he was on his way to work, HIS car died.  More to the point it blew a headgasket.  Just in case you don't know what that means, when your car's oil becomes like a milkshake, it's allllllll bad.

Due to what all happened on Saturday morning and the fact that this was not the first time it had happened.  Yet it was the first time it was vandalized.  All summer long I'd heard gunshots from the apartment complexes in the neighborhood from across the street.  I'd made the decision that it was time for me to go.  I no longer felt safe at work.  That was Wednesday. 

Thursday started looking up when I got a call for an interview (YaY!) from one of my applications that I had put out.

Friday the Wonder One and I got word that we were going to get help with the cost of the repair for his car. So thankfully the curse of three's happened all in one week and quickly, and by weeks end it had to start to turn around.

The hitch in all this is that come Saturday morning the Wonder One went on vacation with his brother.  So bearing that in mind it's no surprise I'm a bit depressed and out of sorts. 

It's no surprise that I answered the call of a beckoning pan of brownies.

I'm not sure if I'm ashamed or embarrassed by this or just remorseful.  All I know is I wish that pan of brownies was bigger...

Friday, September 2, 2011

Blasting in my ears right now...

Great tune for doing my upper body workout...(a little side note on this video...I love it because Big Boi and Andre 3000 used women in this video who were SLAMMIN' with curves and asses on them that were round and packin!  If more artists' used real round women, we as women would not feel so terrible about our bodies because we'd not fear that what we have is not desirable. /end rant, lol)

There are some songs just to fun not to include in a workout to help you fake it till you make it!  This is one of them!!